Doctor: So what seems to be the problem? Me: It's complicated. Doctor: How so? Me: It just is.
Like right now, I may look OK and stable to you, but in my mind, there's a pounding. Like a clock ticking down, its rhythmic beat is taunting, teasing, tormenting me.
I don't know what I'm counting down too, but I've been doing it my whole life. It's becoming normal to me, yet it's still there. Can you hear it?
Some days I'm so happy. I laugh, I smile, I socialize. Nights are a whole other story. I see shadows, dark and looming.
Shadows that don't belong to another being, like they cut themselves away with scissors. They follow me, always watching. You'd probably call it paranoia, but it's not. They're real. Can you see them?
I don't sleep for fear that they will consume me. Suck out all the color from me and my life until I am another one of their mindless slaves.
Some days I'm so sad. Everyone around me flash smiles and words of comfort but I just feel so..... grey.
Like life has lost all color for me and I watch, stuck in my body and unable to find purpose. I'm a walking shadow, no matter how hard I try to resist or deny it. Do you see me?
Me: So what's the diagnosis, Doc?
Me: So what's the diagnosis, Doc? Doctor: Ummmm..... It's complicated.
... Nothing in life is ever simple. Describing how you feel shouldn't either. Don't bother saying "I'm fine", when asked "how are you?" Most of the time, you don't know how to put your feelings into words.
Still, give it a try. Someone might understand. :D That's Iqra... OUT.