You're fourteen and the world is at your feet. There's a girl a few years older than you and she treats you differently than everyone else.
You meet a boy and somewhere between stolen glances and rosy cheeks he develops feeling for you. When he asks you out you say yes. After all, he is the first boy to show interest in you.
15 You're fifteen and the world is starting to go cold around you. The once stolen looks given your way are now extinguished.
Your first love ended as quickly as it started. You keep wondering if anyone will ever kiss you.
The girl from before steps in and treats you better than ever. Despite being an hour away. Her actions begin to make you wonder.
You lose yourself in her love and quickly decide that who needs boyfriend when you have her?
16 You're sixteen and the world is still bright and interesting but colder than ever. Your first love turns into your best friend. You're the first he comes out too.
You promise him, love and companionship just like you always have. His sexuality doesn't change anything. However the older girl from before loses a part of herself and leans on you for comfort.
You begin to feel like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, with the way everyone counts on you. You swallow your emotions and build up the others who are falling. Repress and build became your motto.
17 You're seventeen and the world introduces hate to you for the very first time. A GSA starts a brawl in the hallways of your school, much like it's very own civil war.
Before you can jump into the front lines, the leader comes to you with a job. She needs a mole rat. An invisible body to slip in between enemy lines and bring back ammo to fight for their cause.
You agree, knowing that you're forging fires with people you hate. You meet someone on one of the few days, you're recognized as a GSA member.
She kind and sweet and she makes you question things you never really questioned before. You realize you might be the 'G' in GSA. It's easy to tell she's into you.
She treats you the same as the girl from before treats you. Disaster strikes and the girl that looked out for you all those years cuts contact with you. She destroys you in that process.
It isn't in till a suicide attempt and the beginnings of a drinking problem, you get the help you need. Your therapist diagnoses you with PTSD.
Turns out the girl from before, only wanted you to figure out if she was gay. You guess now she's figured herself out and castes you aside. No one likes a broken toy.
18 You're eighteen and you hate the world. You're sick and tired of all the bullshit people do. Nothing is exciting anymore. Your therapist slaps you with a label every time you walk in.
PTSD, AvPD, OCD, ADHD, the list goes on. The girl that made you wonder left you too. She found you were broken as well. You don't blame her though.
Two broken pieces can't fix a problem. Everyone around wants to die and when a kid threatens to shoot up the school, there's a small part in you that wishes he did.
Nobody wants to die once they found out. People say you're just getting bored but in reality you realize how hypocritical everyone else is around you.
You're just the hypocritical one.