am i not enough?
am i not enough? poetry stories
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hymn
hymn when did i become someone no one loves
Autoplay OFF   •   13 days ago
pt.2 - “stuck somewhere between”

am i not enough?

the floor beneath my feet’s

the floor beneath my feet’s gone

ripped

ripped away

my breaths

my breaths ricochet

my breaths ricochet in this swollen house

my breaths ricochet in this swollen house,

scabs ripped away

scabs ripped away with raw wounds

scabs ripped away with raw wounds oozing blood

and the door's closed

and the door's closed but i swear you can all

and the door's closed but i swear you can all hear

and the door's closed but i swear you can all hear my

and the door's closed but i swear you can all hear my cries

and the door's closed but i swear you can all hear my cries,

the ugly gasps for air

the ugly gasps for air that always seem

the ugly gasps for air that always seem just

the ugly gasps for air that always seem just out

the ugly gasps for air that always seem just out of

the ugly gasps for air that always seem just out of reach

the ugly gasps for air that always seem just out of reach,

am i not enough

am i not enough to make you stay?

is this broken stability

is this broken stability merely

is this broken stability merely nothing

is this broken stability merely nothing to you

is this broken stability merely nothing to you when it was something

is this broken stability merely nothing to you when it was something to me?

at least until i graduate

at least until i graduate.

at least until i graduate..

at least until i graduate...

but my world's being split

but my world's being split in

but my world's being split in half

my heart staying hidden

i

i hate

i hate you

i hate you both.

note: after my dad told me, he closed the door behind him as he left my room and i was lying broken on the floor, my sobs echoing out through the halls and to the voices i could hear in the kitchen. i didn't know who else knew already. i imagined him telling my youngest brother.

note: i imagined how he'd have taken the news. how he probably cried. i hated both of them. i didn't love one more. how could they put this on us? was i not enough to make them stay? could they not hear me crying? how could they have laughed when i came out of my room, red eyed.

note: i always knew my parents were going to separate at some point. they were always arguing, yelling at each other, scaring me when they slammed things, shattering dishes. but they were together. it was a broken stability, but it was all i had. and they took that away. next stage is anger.

am i not enough? // hymn

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