Our Goodbye (Phan)
Our Goodbye (Phan) phan stories

human_tomato wattpad.com/user/human_tomato
Autoplay OFF   •   4 years ago
I'm wondering how I can find my way back to you.

Source: https://www.wattpad.com/u...

Our Goodbye (Phan)

Are you crying?

I thought I saw red in your eyes.

Are you lonely?

Because, to me, you've never seemed so


Are you wondering

about how we ended up like this,

so broken

and distant,

like two shattered pieces of one whole.

Because I'm wondering

how I can find my way back to you.

If you wanted to leave,

I would let you go.

If you wanted to leave,

I wouldn't complain,

because I know the pain

of holding on.

If you wanted to leave,

I would understand

because even I have thought

that maybe we aren't soulmates,

after all.


I feel like the arguing

might be the end.

Of you,

of me,

of us.



it's like we're both so


all I can see is you,

and I want to hurt you

kiss you

kill you.


I wonder how I've made it through

our battles-turned-war


everything that blinds us.

But, still,

I love you,

and I don't know why.

But of course I do,

because how could I resist

eyes like the sky

or waves against rocks.

How could I resist,

the way you laugh,

or the way you make me laugh,

with your stupid jokes

your dumb little pranks,

that have slowly gone away.

Gone away,

not to come back,

the way you've promised to do

so many times before.

"Just go away. I can't stand to be around you right now."

Right now, or ever, or ever? Because it's not like you've been around me much lately.

No mentally, not physically.

Can't you just sit, can't we talk?

"There's nothing to say."

Maybe for you.

But for me,

there's so many words,

so many pleas,

they might just explode inside me.

You aren't the only one to blame.

You aren't the only one who's made threats.

You aren't the only one who's said goodbye.

And I know

I'm not the only one who ever loved.

I'm not the only one feeling this pain.

I'm not the only one losing sleep.

But still

We never talk about this.

We never talk about us.

We never talk about anything.

And this is all too much.

Tonight, you said goodbye.

And I watched in silence as you waved from the taxi

and tried to hide your tears.


I cried, and I'm sure you did too

somewhere far away,

in your own hotel room.


I slept alone,

and barely slept at all.


I tried to heal,

but it seems it takes longer

for a heart this broken,

and so the shards stabbed me raw

and the tears burned my eyes

and I missed you until I couldn't breathe.

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