So it started off normal, they dropped her off told me things like her allergies and how to get her to sleep, and then they left. I was like “this is gonna be a fun day” cause I love kids!
So I took Eri to my room to let her play with some of my old toys, than she says “I’m hungry”. So I said “okay, I’ll be right back” and went downstairs to make her a PBJ sandwich.
Not even FIVE seconds later she comes downstairs and proudly said “I practiced swallowing pills!”. I was TERRIFIED cause I take pills for ADD, so I thought she found those pills and swallowed the whole bottle, or enough to overdose.
So I asked as calmly as possible “how did you practice?”. And she pulls out a BAG OF SKITTLES and says “I swallowed these whole!”. BIGGEST relief of my life!
That was just the BEGINNING of the day!
An hour later she tells me she’s bored, so I decided to take her to the park. We play at the park for a few hours before she gets tired and I take her home so she’s can take a nap. So she’s in the living room taking a nap on the couch while I’m in the kitchen washing dishes.
All of a sudden I hear her talking, like having a full in conversation, so I come back into the living and I ask “who’re you talking to?”. And I kid you not she pulls out an entire SNAKE from under the blanket. I hold back a scream and I quickly tell her “we need to let that thing go!”.
She pouted and asked “why?”. I tried to level with her and said “cause he needs to go back to his snake family.”. After a bit of reasoning she finally went into the backyard and let it go.
And that’s not even the most shocking thing that happened.
Once we got inside Eri tells me “I wanna dance!”. So since she’s a pretty trust worthy kid I hand her my phone and say “play any song you want, I’ll be in the kitchen washing dishes, I’ll be back in a few minutes”.
So I go back in the kitchen and the first bit was fine. She was just dancing, giggling and singing in the living room as she played different kids songs. I stopped paying attention to the songs she was playing after a while, but I listened in just in time to hear her singing the sing ‘WAP’ by Cardi b and Megan Thee Stallion.
Now if you’ve never heard the song ‘WAP’ before, here’s the only part you need to know to feel the same shock I felt: ‘I don't cook, I don't clean But let me tell you how I got this ring Gobble me, swallow me, drip down inside of me Quick jump out 'fore you let it get inside of me’
I wasn’t shocked because she knew the lyrics, I was shocked because Eri doesn’t have any electronics of her own to listen to any music like that. Which means someone, either Shinsou, Sensei Mic or Sensei Aizawa, have been playing that song on repeat enough times for her to actually learn the lyrics.
THAT’S why I was shocked. Anyways, I run into the room, quickly take my phone from her and suggested “I think it’s time we watch some cartoons” and she agreed.
So I turn in Spongebob, everything is chill until something happens to Patrick on the T.V. To which she proceeds to throw her arms up in the air and yell “SHIT”. I looked at her wide eyed and asked “what?!”. She looks at me dead in the eyes and responds “Shit! They got Patrick! Are you not paying attention?!”
I just sat there for a few seconds before I just said “...well shit, my bad”. Cause I couldn’t even be mad. I mean they DID get Patrick and she used the context in the right form, so she really wasn’t wrong!
So after that incident she says “let’s play hide and seek! You count, I’ll hide!” I agreed since my house wasn’t that big and there weren’t many places to hide, closed my eyes and counted to 35. I searched the ENTIRE house. Couldn’t find this girl for shit!
Once again: PANIC. I couldn’t believe I actually lost a child. Not just a child, a child that isn’t mine! Not just any child that wasn’t mine my TEACHERS’ child that wasn’t mine. So, in a fear frenzynI called up my girl Uraka, damn near tears, tell her what happened and she proceeds to LAUGH and say to me....
“Did you set the boundaries?”
“Did you set the boundaries?” .
“Did you set the boundaries?” . .
“Did you set the boundaries?” . . .
“Did you set the boundaries?” . . . “BITCH DID I SET THE WHAT?!”
So, if you don’t set the boundaries of where Eri can and can go during hide and seek she’ll venture anywhere, including OUTSIDE the house to win! So I start searching outside and I end up finding this little girl in the neighbor’s backyard bush.
Took her ass inside so quick and I did not let her leave until Aizawa and Present Mic came and picked her up. They asked me “how was she” I replied, with a tired smile “...hehe.... shut the door, went upstairs and took a 5 hour nap with no regrets.