A Trip to the Carnival
A Trip to the Carnival  mental illness stories
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hannahleepoetry
hannahleepoetry Writing is my therapy!
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
What it's like to have extreme body dysmorphia

A Trip to the Carnival

I have been told many times I am no walk in the park ,and that's true.A walk in the park is too simple too convenient to describe me.

I could never be happily tucked away in the back of a neighborhood with perfectly manicured shrubbery whispering to the world that I am a pleasant little addition to a pleasant little suburbia.

I am no walk in the park, I am a trip to the carnival a whimsical eyesoar full of cotton candy sweetness that dissolves too quickly and games that seem simple but can never be won.

My self image is a room of fun house mirrors. I am surrounded by morphed versions of my reflection that never seem to match .

I wish I could see myself outside of the novelty glass so I would not rely on others to tell me what I actually look like,which is one of those games that seems simple but can never be won.

My emotions are a Ferris wheel ride and the highs have such beautiful views that I do not mind the lows,the highs are worth the wait.

I only mind when the wheel spins so fast I cannot see the highs or lows I just try to stay on the ride.

I only mind when the wheel spins so fast I get physically sick In Fact sometimes the wheel spins so fast for so long that I'd rather just get off the ride all together than to keep

on turning like this.

But hey at least everyone thinks that a trip to the carnival is fun right?

Like outside the contexts of the depressing metaphors I just used if you thought of a trip to the carnival you'd think oh that sounds fun!

Then you'd probably do something more simple more convenient like a walk in the park .

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