by an attraction which impressed me. Then suddenly it racked my brain for a reason. Because I've realized after, I am on my own weakness. I have no courage even just to say a simple hello. Oh hell no I'll get furthermore.
While I perceived your existence as contentment, you disappeared afterward and questions left are on my mind that need to be answered. What brought you here ? How long will you be here ? What's your name dear ?
Coincidently, days after I know your name by a mutual friend we both now don't even care.
I saw you again and more often in the same place where your scent remains. I concluded that you'd be here in this city for a while. Such is the duty. Immediately getting more people around realizing your entity.
Frequently you came in, over the weekend you're always waiting. Constantly now with someone who's been your companion, someone you've convinced to fill the vacancy of your solitude in what you think might be a dull city. Replacing someone in veil that you've mentioned they're a B.
Enchanting, charming. How your appearance and attraction have always pulled much attention until it approaches. Till there was a time, we accidentally went to a place I never wanted to be. Dragged by a friend I barely know. I attended, purely intended to get to know you more.
I felt sorry and disappointed for myself over my expectations, over cold reactions that I saw. Perhaps it was only my poor mind over-thought. Curiosity incited, I solely brave speak through text which I can communicate. To prove that I was wrong, I was too quick to assess you.
Surpass a quiet anniversary of yours in late June. Nothing memorable, nothing to be celebrated. Encourage myself to cheer you up with something special as present. But I was too late, too much contemplating. My negativity assured they were inadequate. Merely grace left.
As days turn to months. I spent too much time thinking, nothing is moving. In lack of confidence that I convey has made me foolish, I was careless. I made us disconnected. Thus there were someone who fortunate has touched you by heart till you both bonded.
I've dulled down enough to believe, pretending I didn't care. My emotional pendulum doesn't swing back and forth as I heard and saw you were with someone I knew from around my circle. The truth which I wish I could resist.
Unwilling to admit, then I built fences to understand the reasonable boundary. Then I went to a place where I thought were safe before. Poured out everything I had there which I expected something would cultivate.
Worst case happened. I got stabbed by an irrational hatred. Nevermind. Life has taught me another lesson.
On the brightside, someone has put trust on me and brought me back to the place where I can see you often and feel your presence again. Sometime it even feels bitter. I was delighted that I found composure in my new realm.
There's one time when you were around, I saw colors running down your face. I cannot help, but I can feel. A tender heart fell into wrecked hardship trying to swim across storm of misery. You survived, you've vent away things unneeded.
In otherside, that was me who's drowning in vain. Hiding in all sort of feeling, I still believe I had hope. Or disappointment, which I was ready to gather.
Standing in-between dilemma and desire. I need to be honest with myself, the confession I want you to know need to be exposed. I'd take any consequence even though memories I had with you would forfeit.
Because I'm in love. I really like you, more than I do.
I'm too weak to make you mine. I'm constantly afraid to lose your shine. Well happiness, joy and bliss, how it all disappeared so quick.
Would you spend few seconds you had left here with me before you're leaving ? Lead the way, take me anywhere you wanted to be.
The caress, when you were high. Of your white pale skin attached with mine.
The falls we went. The long way road we rode down.
The comfort embrace and solace that I discovered in you.
The kiss I went missing which I've tried to make it true.
The Deutsch book reading by you.
The song I wrote which you care about.
That sunset smile that soon will fade out from my sight. I could thrive.
The voice, the laugh, your diction, your accent I adored.
I was too selfish to assume I want you so badly to stay forevermore. Comeback whenever you want, I won't go.
String me as your favorite bracelet around your wrist which you always wear. So I can hang on to hopes and dreams that keep me believing.
But now I would take another pull to certain move on. Back to reality. Would you still remember me later when you're fully gone ?
I won't beg anymore, I don't want you to think a bad image of me when you safe at home.
For sake of God, I'd pray the future would bring us to each other.
December has come. The house you covet calling your name out. Going back to the safest place where you needed to be, after a long year missing.
Goodbye my dearest. Goodbye to someone who's I admire most, someone I adored, someone which I couldn't hold anymore.
Thank you for letting me being a part of your brief journey.
Your name remains deep down here in my heart and will be remembered as limerence, L