I remember the day you asked her out, everyone was so happy for you. So was I. I didn't know you back then, you were just another playboy probably looking for someone to toy with for awhile.
We all acted happy and excited for her, then placed bets on how long y'all would last when her back was turned. 6 months down the line and y'all were still going strong.
We began to wonder now, maybe you weren't a player like we thought. Maybe you genuinely cared for her. Only time would tell.
We were introduced to each other then, I still wasn't sure whether I approved of you or not. We made small talk and parted ways. I contemplated befriending you.
A month later and we had become friends, we started hanging out and I had warmed up to you. I realised that I was wrong and you really did love her. We used to talk everyday.
Even about the small silly uninteresting details of our tediously boring lives, the things that didn't qualify as gossip worthy with other friends.
Whether it was a new movie we watched, or a place we went to, or some new food we ate, we shared everything with each other. I began to think of you as one of my best friends.
Of course you were still crazy over her and I was happy for you, I fangirled over all the cute moments and helped you word out apologies when you messed up.
Then came the bad times where you were sad every night because of some petty fight y'all had that had been blown out of proportion and ended with an exchange of harsh words.
I always consoled you and tried to fix everything between y'all. And it always worked, although sometimes I wished it hadn't.
To my horror, I had started feeling something towards you, something that I shouldn't have been feeling.
My blood boiled when she hurt you , when she told you you were worthless and nothing but a problem, when she treated you so bad she made you cry and then the next day,
after staying up crying over her the whole night,you told me you still loved her and went running back to her the moment she said that meaningless sorry.
I hated seeing you being treated like that, you deserved so much more, you deserved to have the world served to you on a silver platter but I stayed silent spectator,
playing my dutiful role as a best friend , begging you to hold on, on days you didn't want to, and watched helplessly as the next day she walked all over you over and over again.
There came a point where I couldn't see you being hurt anymore, I begged you to walk away from her, promising to stay by your side and get you through it.
You accepted,but after a few days she felt lonely again and asked for you back. You blindly ran back again, thinking it would be different this time, it wasn't.
There was nothing I could do but watch as she ripped you to shreds and there's still nothing I can do.
If I could be selfish with you, I would tell you, but not with you I just can't, so I'll say it here. I love you.
I love every single inch of your being , I love your flaws and your perfections, your lame jokes that can have me in stitches with the sheer irony of it all,
I love how you've been there for me every single time I needed you and how you trusted me to be a shoulder to cry on every time you were hurting.
I can never tell you any of this, I could never risk losing you because of my selfish feelings. I'm sorry that I feel this way. I never meant for it to happen.
Just know that no matter what you choose to do, I'll stand by you, even if it means I'll never be anything more than just a friend.
I really do hope that you find happiness, whether it's with her or someone else. Yours truly, .