your first love
your first love stories

grumpybearCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago

your first love

by grumpybear

when the first person you ever loved leaves your life, nothing will look the same

and when you see him from across the sidewalk, something inside of you will break every time

after the twentieth encounter you will expect it to hurt less, but if anything, it will only hurt more

when you see him a year later with his mouth locked onto someone else’s, you will try to shrink down into nothing

your soul will erase itself from your body, your mind will erase all other memories it has ever seen

when you lay in bed that night, the sight of him kissing someone else will play over and over in your head

when you meet someone new five years later, you will learn that you spend your time trying to convince yourself that he is just like your first love

when you discover that this second boy is not your second love, but rather a shadow of your first, something will break inside of you all over again

when someone tells you that it has been too long since he left to still be thinking of him, remind yourself of the definition of love

remind yourself of how his hand felt in yours, remind yourself that you will spend the rest of your life missing him, remind yourself that you never felt more like you than when you were with him

when you suddenly remember his name thirty years from now, be proud that it has been so long since it crossed your mind

when his memory becomes scrambled and you can’t remember the sound of his voice, know that this means that you can continue living again

when you are on your deathbed, he will not be by your side, but your first love will not be the face that you are longing to see before you go

your first love will take pieces of you with him that you will never get back

but your last love will take the brokenness and make you whole again

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