This is not the way I thought my life would go.
I found it in myself to forgive You, because looking back now I saw your desperate pleads for me to leave those dark times with you.
I see the steps you guided me to that lead to me to the happiness I have had.
I forgave You, just as You have forgiven me.
I'm now nearing the age of 21, and those days are far behind me.
I've been asking You what You want me to do with my life.
I prayed to You "show me what my heart needs"
I met a man the other weekend. He was a real man's man.
He held such warmth.
I sat across from him in the dim light giggling thinking "THANK YOU!"
The morning came so quickly, he asked to turn his back to the window. He kissed my back between my shoulder blades each time he woke up.
Sun beams on his chest made his skin look the colour of caramel.
It's been so many days I'm struggling to remember what he looked like,
Or even the sound of his voice.
He's been back in his city, his country, for a few days now.
We've kept in touch a bit but I decided yesterday to let this fish go
I'm angry with You.
I'm angry that You handed me a wonderful man, filled me with so much happiness then plucked it from me before I knew I would be sinking again.
I'm angry that there have been so many misleading paths I have lost faith in myself.
I'm angry that I have had to listen to MEN that say words to break me, because that's just who I am surrounded by.
I'm stuck going so many directions, there's nothing I can do which leads to the right path.
And then you said "Maybe they all do".