the typical gothic victorian melodrama, only gayer and less white
the typical gothic victorian melodrama, only gayer and less white lgbtq stories
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greenleaf
greenleaf queer writer of colour.
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
a short screenplay parody of Victorian-era murder mysteries.

warning: very silly.

the typical gothic victorian melodrama, only gayer and less white

(full disclaimer: this is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, as the title indicates. I tried parodying one of those dramatic Victorian-era murder mysteries. I certainly had tons of fun writing it, though!

(full disclaimer: this is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, as the title indicates. I tried parodying one of those dramatic Victorian-era murder mysteries. I certainly had tons of fun writing it, though! I hope you enjoy!

(full disclaimer: this is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, as the title indicates. I tried parodying one of those dramatic Victorian-era murder mysteries. I certainly had tons of fun writing it, though! I hope you enjoy! signed, a queer chinese author)

THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE

THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE CHARACTERS

THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE CHARACTERS CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed

THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE CHARACTERS CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette

EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT

EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT     (Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.)

XIUYING We don’t have much time.

XIUYING We don’t have much time. CECIL I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?

XIUYING First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 

XIUYING First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation.  CECIL Calm? Calm?! How can you expect me to stay calm after that?

XIUYING First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation.  CECIL Calm? Calm?! How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!

XIUYING I understand you’re upset - 

XIUYING I understand you’re upset -  CECIL I damn well am! 

XIUYING I understand you’re upset -  CECIL I damn well am!  XIUYING - but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.

    (CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down.) 

    (CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down.)  CECIL Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery.

CECIL (cont.) The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this.

XIUYING (slowly) I don't understand why he would do this, either.

XIUYING (slowly) I don't understand why he would do this, either. As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.

    (CECIL freezes and looks up at her.)

    (CECIL freezes and looks up at her.) CECIL What?

    (CECIL freezes and looks up at her.) CECIL What? XIUYING I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.

CECIL Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays!

CECIL Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.)

CECIL Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!

XIUYING Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.

XIUYING Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly. CECIL It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.

XIUYING Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.

CECIL (bitterly) Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 

CECIL (bitterly) Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him.  XIUYING That may be the case, but look at this.

    (She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. )

XIUYING If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.

XIUYING If I’m not mistaken, that is blood. CECIL Blood?

XIUYING If I’m not mistaken, that is blood. CECIL Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.)

XIUYING If I’m not mistaken, that is blood. CECIL Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.

XIUYING (grimly) Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 

XIUYING (grimly) Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface.  CECIL But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.

    (CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly.)

    (CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly.) XIUYING Who said anything about paying them off?

fin

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