Content-Warning: – 12+ – Bad Language – Possible Triggers like "suicide", "domestic abuse" etc.
Author's Note: 9th Chapter of ~FALLEN~ is a little bit different from the former ones, switching rather often between the past, Viaton's thoughts and the actual story. I hope it won't be too confusing for you. Please tell me what you think about it after checking it out.
Author's Note: Thank you. And thank you very much for reading. I appreciate it a lot.
This man ... How I ever had been able to call him "father" after all what he had done to mum?
And even though I always hated him for all of it, I had become so similar –, treating women badly, using them just for my own desires without considering their feelings; not even a little bit.
I'm so sorry, mum ... for me becoming such a monster. And for you suffering through a lot of pain with no one by your side. I'm so sorry.
But I promise ...
I won't let something like that happen again.
Please, don't die!
You are not alone.
"No ..., I simply can't do that. I can't do something like that again." I repeated it once more.
"So, please! – Take my hand." This time I sounded far more serious and she was dumbfounded for a while when she saw the tears in my eyes and the way I worried about her.
She turned around and examined me. After that she gazed deep into my soul. "You ... You don't even know me ... and still ..." Her words fell silent as she wiped off her tears from before and then slowly started to reach out for my hand.
Closer and closer; I nearly had been able to grab her and pull her back into safety.
But then another devastating thought seemed to cross her mind, as she retreated and were shaking her head desperately.
"No. ... NO! ... That's not right. I ... I can't. I just can't ... No ..." While starring into her shaking hands, she started to loose herself with tears crashing around her. "I really just can't. ... I have to ... I have to die."
Her words paralyzed me and I just was able to watch what happened next.
She turned around, weeping bitterly and was about to jump down the next second – the time from now to then felt awfully long and so unreal. Everything in front of my eyes seemed to go by in slow-motion and I wasn't able to do anything ...
How can you let that happen again?
That with your mother – Hasn't it been enough?
Haven't you sworn upon yourself you won't let something like that happen again to someone you'd be able to save?
You even have sworn that at her grave, right?
Did you forget?
"I won't let something like that happen again."
And yet ...
Yet you are too weak to help ...
You are too weak.
You are weak!
I am not!
YOU ARE WEAK!
GODDAMMIT! I'M NOT!
An incredible adrenaline rush triggered by the fight inside of me pulled me out of this tainting trance and gave me back all of my strength.
Now I was able to think clearly again, and now I had made up my mind for hundred percent ...
I'm not weak.
I'm going to save her.
The fateful second had arrived – clock was ticking without mercy. And now it was only me who was able to make a difference; who was able to decide over life and death.
And I wanted her to live, no matter what.
But especially when you are hundred percent sure that you are pulling the strings ...
fate will prove you wrong.
For what I did back then wasn't my choice.
Fate had simply chosen me to carry out her will.
And for being strong enough to do so
she granted me divine love ...
but also infernal pain.
TO BE CONTINUED?