Content-Warning: – 12+ – Possible Triggers
Author's Note: I hope you enjoy reading the series ~FALLEN~. Here's the 5th Chapter for you. I would appreciate it a lot if you could give me feedback and some advice how to improve. Thank you very much for reading and your consistent support.
I decided to not tell them about my state and that I wouldn't wander on earth for very long anymore. But it wasn't the fear of their hurtful words and my quivering thoughts about what they'd do to me if I'd tell them.
No! That wasn't the reason which held me back from informing them.
What held me back was the burden of this inevitable fate which I didn't want to believe is true. So, I started to deny the fact that I'd die in a few months and tried my best to forget about it, with the mindset that it would work out somehow and that everything would be okay.
Also, I wasn't able to bear it that my life would be ended before it even began. That would be too cruel, and therefore couldn't be true.
"I'm very sorry, Miss." The first words after coming to hospital once more to get clarification about my medical report while hoping that I had misunderstood it the last time. Then he tried to explain it to me in the most considerate way as possible ...
That there'd be no hope left for me and that there wouldn't be a cure for that rare sickness of mine where my body and mind slowly would begin to decay, followed by a lot of agony and disarray till I'd finally face a painful death.
Then he tried to sooth me that there'd be effective medicaments though. And that there also would be the opportunity to receive excellent psychological treatment which would make the whole process a lot easier and bearable.
Yes! He tried to be caring and considerate and all, but ... His words just fired up my thoughts and made me fall in a even darker pit of hopelesness.
As if it would be easy to accept that you'd die, especially when you know when that time would come. And as if it would be bearable to suffer through that with no one by your side who really cares about you, especially after an already devastating life like mine.
And now ... it shall become even worse?
That isn't true.
It isn't true.
It just ... can't be true.
Denying my circumstances and the heartbreaking facts were my only ray of hope left regarding that case. And then I stood up and walked out of the doctor's office without being dismissed before.
"Miss!? Wait!" He called after me and tried to stop me from leaving. And as I noticed that he followed after me, I ran off ... again.
I don't want to hear it anymore.
Isn't my life cruel enough already?
I can't bear much more.
Please, leave me alone!
And again I bumped into that stranger from the other day who seemingly was about to spend his break with a tasty smelling cup of coffee. A coffee which was spilled over his white coat and nearly made him flip out as he saw the brown mess on his clothing.
"What the –" "I'm so sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to." I interrupted him hastily while being afraid what would happen next.
As he heard my voice, he looked up and apologized to me in a blink of an eye. "I ... I'm very sorry. Are you alright?" He asked me with a now soft and caring tone.
I was really ashamed, looked away from him and nodded silently. He was aware of my insecurity and how bad I felt because of that incident. "Listen! It's okay. I'm not mad at you. It was just an accident. Everything's alright. Okay?"
"O- Okay." I stuttered and blushed a little bit while my gaze were oscillating between his eyes and the floor.
If I saw it right, he blushed as well, and then he asked me out all of a sudden. "Would you like to take a walk together with me?" His deep voice sounded so fond and sweet, I just wasn't able to refuse his offer. "I ... I ... O- Okay."
"I'm glad." He carried a happy smile as I agreed. "Please wait here for some seconds. – I'll get some new clothes before. I'll be right back." We exchanged deep eye-contact, both smiled, and then he went off.
What are you doing, Angelica?
Are you crazy?
Better not do something like that.
Doubts and heavy feelings arised and caused me to leave that place before he returned. My eyes were filled with tears and I was very sorry for turning him down like that, but I thought it would be the right thing to do.
I thought it wasn't right to spend more time with him and let him enter my life.
After all ...
I was about to die.
But despite me trying to avoid him,
fate always provided new encounters between the two of us.
For some reason there was no way around it.
For some reason someone wanted us to fall in love.
And we did, although I didn't want it
because I knew our love wouldn't end well.
I'm truly sorry, Viaton.
I never meant to hurt you.
TO BE CONTINUED?