This is a compilation of random/hilariously awesome things people in my family or at my school have said. I hope these will make you laugh! (I'll also be using fake names for some of these people)
*On a Webex (Zoom-type of site) meeting* Theatre Teacher: Does nobody want to present their work?! Me: They're all introverts. Alex: The way your pixels formed when you typed that made it feel as though you are insulting me as an introvert
Theatre Teacher: What does the color dark blue make you think of? Alex: Dark blue reminds me of an adult man in a daffy duck costume hating his life
"Now we steal the pigs-" - US History Teacher
"I shouldn't laugh at you. I'm sorry. *continues laughing*"- Theatre Teacher
"The one person I needed to talk to, and he just yeeted himself out."- US History Teacher
"We're just going to put you in some bubble wrap and call it a day."- Choir Teacher
"There are two things in life that are certain: Death and taxes."- US History Teacher
"Thanksgiving is a madeup holiday nobody cares about." - Choir Teacher
These next ones are things said in a group chat with my irl friends: "Eggs are the most popular form of children to eat."
"I wonder how society reacts if they see you slowly sub into madness, and the only thing they can do is take you to mental therapy but they can't because none of them are your parents so now you're plotting to take over the world and all those people could have changed the outcome."
"We're all gonna die someday, murders just speed up the process of death by cutting it short, so you can just say the person died of natural causes."
"Screaming is the only way to relase your inner demons."
And these next ones are just quotes- "HaWaIiAn TiNkEr BeLl" *The quote above is from a D&D campaign I'm in...it's best to just not ask XD
"I enjoy the tears of children." - My Dad
*My Dad, staring at an Artemis Fowl book backwards* Dad: Foul artist? Me: Dad, no-
Me, playing a word puzzle app: Let's try 'rat' with an 'e' Mom: The word for that is rate... Me:
Me, at Wendy's and wanting a drink: Could I have the tea? Mom: No. Me: ??? Mom: Because you'll spill it! *cue air horns blaring in the background* *If you don't get it, she was referring to the saying 'Spill the tea'-
Mom: Roses are red, violets are blue, covid's a b*tch, and so are you *She didn't direct that towards me, she was just upset that day because her mom (my grandmother) got covid
If you made it to the end, then congratulations! I hope at least one of these made you laugh! Since I'm in a D&D campaign with my irl friends, then there will definitely be more quotes in the future. But that's it for now! Bye Firegolds! - Artemis