I've had four different people say that they're disappointed in me today. One of them being my own Mother...
I'm having a friend issue, where I'm at the point of having suicidal thoughts.
Yeah I mean it.
Today I almost asked my friend to stab me.
The friend I'm having issues with (I'm just gonna say "Apax" for whatever reason) stopped coming to school. She stopped eating because people called her fat.
She started going to the dentist everyday because people said she had yellow teeth.
She's been avoiding me, and giving me dirty glances.
To be honest, I didn't partake in the name calling,
but apparently I've been bullying her for quite some time now.
My friends and I have always had problems with Apax, and apparently they've started showing last year.
Yeah, this has been going on for a year, and I didn't even know.
I don't think she knows how much this affected me though...
I seriously just want to put this laptop down, and shoot myself...
Yeah, I know. I made so many stories on how I should treasure me life and stuff..
But I can't.
I just want to stop dealing with this!
I want it to be all over.
My grades are slipping,
the clothes I wear is now mostly black,
I don't eat much anymore,
and my breathing it getting odder by the day. (Don't ask)
I was supposed to say sorry today.
Apax didn't want me to say sorry.
She wasn't comfortable with it.
The rest of my weekend I'll be feeling terrible.
I seriously need some help.
I just want the suicidal thoughts out of my head.
Please give me advice.
I really need it before I start crying again...
This is all true. I really need help.