The definition of someone is not what they did, but what they tried to do.
People do bad things with good intentions.
And even if you didn't have good intentions you can change.
All people can change their definitions of themselves.
Nothing defines you except yourself, and that's a powerful weapon.
However people see you, they don't know your true definition unless you allow them to.
They have a right to be mean to you if you give them a reason, but if you let them see the definition of you, the real you, they won't have a right anymore.