I overthink, I doubt, I get frustrated. Again, I do this to myself. All it takes is a bad moment or a comment I take too seriously.
I twist these things into negativity and start to question my worth, my existence. That’s how bad it’s gotten. I can never let myself be me.
I’m always taking mental notes of what not to do and what to do; always making sure everyone is happy around me. But I never check if I’m happy; I never check what I want.
If I upset someone in the slightest, it breaks me, and I can’t help but be apologetic. But if someone upsets me, I never show it.
I feel the need to assure the other person I’m not upset, even though I am. I do this because I feel like I’m not allowed to be upset.
I think that’s what it all comes down to. I feel like I’m not allowed to feel anything. I put other people before me and treat myself like dirt. Which is an awful way to live.
Love yourself and let yourself be.