Her pen

         Her pen free verse stories

ghostown best friends with writers block
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
I wish i could stop writing for her, but... well here we go again...

Her pen

Every day i walk around with a pen in my hands (it's all i have...)

Holding it closer than i ever let any person be (they all hurt me...)

Jotting down notes on the side of the page (they were never enough...)

Signing my name (but who even am i...)

Then throwing them out like they never happened (i didn't deserve the words...)

I hold the pen like my oxygen tank (i can't breath...)

It's almost empty and the water around me is crushing (I CAN'T BREATH...)

And my feet refuse to move forwards (I can't forget...)

But there's still a little air left (i'm grasping at straws...)

I'm slowly drowning in an ocean of all my tears (this is useless...)

I threw myself in to escape the fears (im such a coward...)

Of the surface (i deserve none of this...)

And i had cried to be saved (you didn't even try to hear me...)

But the cries went unnoticed (how could you...)

Then the water around me turned to glass (i hate it all...)

Scaring my arms and cracking my mask (the smile is fading...)

As i tried my best to reach (i didnt try hard enough...)

The top of the ocean (it was impossible.)

And, my tears would fall like stars (i will never touch the stars...)

And the ocean would get a little bigger (im stuck on the earth...)

My air supply getting smaller and smaller (this is hopeless)

The days and nights slowly getting harder (hopeless...)

The tears grew flowers on the ocean floor (they had thorns...)

And they would drag me into the sand (i let them...)

Memories of something i once used to know (its my fault...)

And then you came around (you should have never come...)

Just some small timid girl (you destroyed me...)

And you asked if you could read the jotted down notes i wrote (you should have left...)

Before i threw them away (i should have thrown them out...)

But she hadn't been the first (i wish they all left...)

So i just told her no (why...)

But then again the next day she asked again (how could you care about me...)

Once again I said no (why did you have to love me...)

But i'd been so confused (how could i have let you...)

Wondering why she'd returned (i got stupid...)

Then again she came back like a lighthouses beam (i should have learned from last time...)

And this time i agreed (no... i should have said no)

I let her into my ocean (i did it to myself...)

One pen stroke at a time (you should have thrown out that stupid pen...)

And she read my notes (she pretended to smile...)

And she told me that they were quite good (SHE LIED...)

And the ocean seemed to shrink a little (you're letting her destroy you...)

Every day from thereon, every line she would read (run away...)

And for the first time in a while i felt i could breath (YOU NEED TO RUN...)

I hadn't realized though (she did not care enough...)

That as i resurfaced (i gave you my soul...)

She had been drifting away (you took it with you...)

I saw it too late (you're a liar...)

And then she was gone (i should hate you so much...)

And suddenly... (you destroyed me)

I was back at the bottom of the ocean (why dont i hate you...)

No longer trying to swim (how can i...)

My air tank empty (STILL...)

My tears coming down steadily (LOVE...)

As i wished i'd never let you in (YOU?)

So i'll write one last note

I've made too many

But never one made for you

And i'll stay at the bottom

My eyes wide open

Watching the the endless sky

And i'll watch the water

Play with the comets

And sign my name one last time.

(I still miss you)

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