looked up to my mother, asked what month school starts. said "i wanna be smarts!" and she laughed like she was gonna fall to parts, said "august, at the end of summer."
and now we're headed back to school, back to lighthearted hate and heavyhearted fear. back to arguments in which you wish you could interfere. back to sweet whispers that are so insincere, back to feeling like such a tool.
and so i smiled a toothy smile, declared "august is my favourite month, then!" that's where started a place of zen. where i can learn about the raven and the wren, away from my family for a while.
and so we're headed back to school, back to facepalming at other's antics. back to reveling in old romantics. back to worthlessness and fanatics, back to being viewed as a tool.
she just laughed and turned away, back to slaving away at work. i swear she'll go berserk. i can't help the smirk, hoping i won't dully type all day.
and now we're headed back to school, back to eternities of dry sobbing. back to always wishing for a bombing. back to the doubts bever stopping, back to knowing i'm but a tool.