Eyes shook vigorously at the clock, maybe
I overheard but then how could that mocking almost grin be burned out of memory or
logically refrained from implying anything at all.
I never paid attention to plaid emblems and
she was the epitome of plain and underrated routine chewing, lone wolf freedom and
quiet bird chirping in winter type of person so when I felt like a fever
was juggling behind my confusion I started panicking, denying it, panicking more then got completely infuriated
since I knew I couldn't ask and guessing didn't help this time around.
With every move to free myself from her chaining words I started to notice her more
and in the brilliant suspension that was angering me daily to the point where people near me could tell my aura darkened
I started following her trail, I don't know what I wanted to notice but I couldn't think of
another way to get her smirk out of my vision by seeing how simple and lame she is
but that resulted to more impatience.
It was that fortunate day when grave news broke me, after class on that cursed terrace while my weeping couldn't
annoy anyone I saw her approach with the same tiny grin,
she said nothing and just sat beside in the largest space there could be between two people and offered me her
handkerchief saying: 'Don't let them see' I nodded to that quietly, I knew she wouldn't ask and didn't.
Her earphones were blasting with melody I could swear was made for this moment, it
was oozing sadness and depression in sound form and all I could think was drowning
myself in that unknown song.
It took a little question: 'Can I hear too?'
and without much answer her tiny hand passed gently the chord
to me and only then did I realise that the anger nimbling at me was nothing but everything
buried under my bored face and her seemingly smooth routine.
The song was weepy and hardly my taste, words were crafted in waterfall formation, building progressively and crashing
with a boom wetting my cheeks in the process but she only mouthed the words
completely desolate of wonder or annoyance that I was present.
After two more songs I felt awkward again,
I had to leave I knew and her stoic face never expected me to say goodbye, I thought:
'What if I asked her now about it' yet I couldn't bring myself, I felt... humiliation to be seen that low
I just left the earphone and run as if chased by my pent up emotion forming in her face
and waiting for answers I didn't carry on my bag or heart.
Days in session, I felt the avoidant nuance I had tangled with her notion, I shouldn't
speak to her again but then I realised I had lost my plushy chain, not significant if you
ask so I didn't try finding it until I saw the uncanny move she did.
Round pretty letters wrote me a little invite to join her if I wanted to hear more music
with the freshly clean plushy beside it and I immediately flushed knowing who it was
but looking back that was probably the most relaxed I had felt in a while which raised my critic about myself even more.
I convinced myself after a prolonged debate that there was no point in refusing or letting anyone know,
just by looking at her anyone would say she couldn't care less about attention or social
connections, was I suspicious that she asked based on who I was, not really; I'm popular
for being friendly yet adamant about dating but why would I think about that, pfft.
For once I agreed not to think about it so I just went along,
after school two days after her letter dueled with my logic I found her sitting familiary on the floor facing the
sunset with a happiness impossible to pinpoint but visible in a sense?!
Her eyes turned to face me frankly and said: 'What do you hear', that straight up confused me making me silent
but that was her intent, the laced chirping with the groovy breeze
in the rainbow shaded sky was what she wanted me to hear not the music she was bouncing her head to, I snicker to myself;
very cheeky indeed.
I plop to her left and point with my hands while answering: 'Is that your definition of music,
real life?' letting her pass me the earphone she dryly replies: 'No, my side of life. I wanted to
let you see yours.' turning her head she shuts her eyes to mimic the direction of the wind, totally blind.
It was shocking, all the things she says are
bland but very poignant raising my eyebrows to form question marks all over my face
which she didn't pay attention to so I didn't reply to the obvious, she made me see it I admit.
Songs and lyrics later, I was entirely lost in the spiritual rivalry of the physical world
and my swimming daydreams and without noticing it was time for her to depart, she smoothly unplucked the
earphone from my ear letting me behind to ruminate on her
last words: 'It's time to join the world again', I didn't catch her gaze so I wonder how did
she know how I felt without even looking my way.
She just keeps of reading me riddles from
my own book, what's wrong with that girl? It's annoying, hhm.