I need sleep.
Before I go crazy I need sleep.
But every time I close my eyes, I see it happen again.
I hear the screams, and see hands coming after me.
I see the flash of light glint over the blade as it swiftly dives into his neck, blood gushing everywhere.
And for what?
Because he confronted me? Because he wanted my job?
I still see his face. The shock, the fear of death and whatever afterlife he believes.
He met his comeuppance at my hand.
And now I meet mine being forced to see whenever I close my eyes.
But it didn't really happen. It never happened.
I've been able to control myself so far, but worrying about it keeps me awake at night.
which makes it harder to control, which makes work suffer, which worries me more, which makes it harder to control
and I go insane.
And if I do stab him in the neck with a letter opener, they'll blame me for not being able to control myself.
And all because I couldn't sleep.