Thursday, June 29, 2017, 5:17 AM
I can't sleep. I think my condition has gotten better...only because I've been thinking about Jungkook. Summer break is here.
I thought I would be able to go outside and have some fresh air, but, my plans are ruined. I have more treatment at the hospital.
They want to keep me for another week, just to make sure im breathing ok. I just think me being here makes my condition worse. I feel good when im able to see Jungkook.
I need to know if he is doing ok. If he is eating, sleeping, breathing. I need to know if he is hurt. Not having this information makes me worry....a lot. I've been stressing every day.
Taehyung comes to check on me often. I ask him to check on Jungkook to see if he is ok, but, he says I need to focus on my own health before his. But I can't help it.
Even though he might not know me, and I might not closely know him, I'll always put his health before mine, any day.
Friday, June 30th, 2017, 8:57 AM
I think that my doctor will let me go outside today. I'm not as weak as yesterday I feel. I'm able to walk around without stumbling and falling flat on my face.
Taehyung got me my banana milk today. He knows that it's my favorite since we have been friends since 2nd grade.
If I didn't have Taehyung as a support system, I wouldn't be doing well right now. My parents haven't visited me also.
I really want to see my mom and brother but when I try to call they never answer. I miss them a lot. I hope that nothing bad happened.
If I can go outside today, I want to meet up with Jin hyung. I think Tae has a crush on him. He always blushes when he is around. I want them to work so Tae can be happy.
Sometimes I feel like I am a burden to him. I probably am though. I'll ask him when he comes back from the bathroom.....I wonder how Jungkookie is. I miss seeing him too.
I might write in my journal again today to tell you about outside. Hm ok, I guess that is all, bye.
Sunday, July 2nd, 2017, 2:56 AM
I went outside yesterday...It didn't last long. My legs and feet were still a bit sore and swollen so I wasn't able to really have fun. In fact, I was barely able to stand up and move around.
Jin was worried so he made me stay in one spot the whole time. Hm, the sun was nice though. It felt good on my skin.
I needed it too since I was becoming a ghost from staying inside all day long. I saw Jin and Taehyung bonding with each other too. That made me smile really wide.
I love when they are around each other. Taehyung looks more happy and carefree when they speak. Taehyung told me that Jungkook might be moving school because of his fathers work.
Just thinking about it makes me sad. I've grown used to looking at him and admiring him for years now, and if he just moves, ill be depressed.
It might sound a bit stalkerish that I stare at him all the time but I cant help it. His cheekbones, jawline, luscious hair, thick legs, the list could go on for hours......
I should go to sleep....but I'm not that tired. Man, I could really go for some banana milk.
Sunday, July 2nd, 2017, 12:46 PM
Oh my gosh. I saw Jungkook today. I was on my way to the bathroom in the hospital and I saw him with this old woman. I think she is his grandmother.
Wow, I didn't think he would ever be here, This brightened up my day 100%. Don't even get me started on what he was wearing oh my. The tightest jeans I've ever seen on him.
If only he wore those for me...... Ok Ok, for real though, I wonder what happened to his grandmother. I hope that she is fine. She didn't look all that great when I saw her.
Man, all these problems. Hm what to talk about now....OH me and TaeTae had some fun earlier today. We wore sunglasses and weird pieces of clothing and took pictures together.
I like how Taehyung can cheer me up easily. Without him I would be like that grumpy doctor that's here. Mr....Min? I think so. He is always angry and harassing everyone to get into their rooms.
We cant even make it to the bathroom without him popping out of nowhere and harassing us. Man, this hospital is weird.
Monday, July 3rd, 2017, 7:00 AM
I don't want to move you know. I have Taehyung, BamBam, Yugyeom, and Namjoon. I don't want to leave them. I might not ever come back too. But also, Ill have some more opportunities in....
dating? I guess. I haven't really been seeing anyone romantically since my last girlfriend. I know my parents want me to date more too.
My mom has asked me if ive gotten a girlfriend every day for years now. It's starting to really get on my nerves. I think I should try to meet someone, to make my mom happy at least.
One less thing to worry about. I had to go to the hospital yesterday. My grandma hasn't been doing well lately. Her stomach problems have worsened and nobody will take care of her.
Both sides of the family have just left her home alone. I went to go check on her and she was on the floor. Luckily I came at that time, If I had not, it would have been bad.
Im gonna be really stressed if something happens to her, I dont think I would be able to cope with a loved one dying. I couldn't even deal with my cat running away when I was 5.
Life has its weird ways, what are you gonna do.