Losing//Being There
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FreyaEliCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  4 months ago
I was thinking about friendship lately

Losing//Being There

by FreyaEli

The first time it happened, I was nine and she was ten.

We had been growing apart for a while, I just didn't understand, Until she said she didn't want to play anymore, And I was left to the boys, Playing football like I enjoyed

And I didn't mind that, Because I did enjoy it, I found it fun to do and liked to play, But the boys found me too girly, And while they didn't care if I played or not, To me it was clear as day

The next three of four friends, We just didn't mesh well, While the other lived too far, It wasn't too hard to move on from that

The next I enjoyed spending time with, And he made me feel comfortable, But we were young and foolish, And told to date, The biggest mistake we'd ever make

It worked for two weeks, But then had to say goodbye, Because we couldn't handle the change so much, And nothing could be the same

We'd changed somehow, Unable to take it back, So went our separate paths, And that was the end of that

My next friend I loved, So very much, She brought me out of my shell, Showed me what the world holds

She taught me how to help myself, Love myself, What its like to have family, Even how to make more friends

We stayed that way for so long, I couldn't see it ending, Even as everything else fell apart, Because we moved together in everything

Even when others left us, Spoke about us, Made us resent the world, We were together

Of course it had to end, And of course I saw it coming, It had happened too many times before, I was no longer exactly blind to it

It was too awkward, Too silent, There was nothing there

No argument, No communication, Not even a friendly goodbye

Just a static silence, The mutual end of it somehow communicated, Much as I wish it wasn't

I probably wouldn't blame her, Even if the option was there, Because there wasn't anything to it, And we could still see each other and talk, The option is always open

Because that's the difference, Between her and the others, Aside from being more adult, More mature, She was family, And taught me life

For that I'll always love her, And she'll always be in my heart, It feels like a cheesy disney movie saying that, But I guess that's what growing up is like

And though she might not always remember me, I still hope she never forgets, Because that's what proper friendship is like, Being back to back

Maybe not always acknowledging it, But accepting it just like that

And I know I'll always be there, Somehow I know she's the same, Always being there for each other, But never going back to where once we came

It kind of sucks that life's like that, And it's stupid to think we can change the past, But for the future I hope, I know I've learned, I'll keep in mind as I carry on

Losing friends, While hard, I can still be there, Making sure I'm there if they want me, Even ten years down the road

Even if, For a short while, They want to reminisce, I'll make sure they know it's okay

Because losing friends is so much better, When you can be there for them again

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