The first time I lived
The first time I lived stories
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flutrah
flutrahCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  8 months ago
~But I warned you, I am not a happy person.~

The first time I lived

by flutrah

Everything felt forced. Everything but you. It felt so different having you in my life. Colorful and fun.

Suddenly I could enjoy conversations, I liked going out, I found pleasure in the smallest things. I smiled so sweetly, it didn't feel real. I hadn't notice the changes, they just came naturally.

I could breathe fully, filling my lungs until they couldn't handle anymore air. I felt alive, I felt like myself. This was the real me. And it all started with you.

I didn't realize I had changed so much until my friend said how much happy I seemed. I wondered why she said that? And then on that summer night you kissed me while everyone was dancing.

My heart raced and I lost all breath and I smiled like never before. You were just as excited. But I warned you, I am not a happy person.

I felt the joy slowly fade as I panicked because my laughter depended on you. I didn't like it. So, as always, I ran. And you gave up on me.

And again, the conversations were dreadful, going out felt like torture and the smallest things did not bring me any pleasure whatsoever. The curtains closed, the lights turned off.

The dark skies told me they had missed me and held me in their arms as comfortably as ever. I loved them so much, I could never escape them.

Not like I escaped from you.

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