I waited for my friend at a caffè while truly understanding the meaning of sun-kissed as I leaned back facing the yellow star with my eyes closed. He was fifteen minutes late.
I didn't have to open my eyes to understand that the footsteps approaching were his. I already knew everything there was to know about him.
"What a glorious day, isn't it?" He kissed my forehead and sat across from me. I opened my eyes to see him smiling and as he took off his sunglasses, I knew something was different.
"That is the problem with you," he started, "you close your eyes when you should open them wide and see the world. And I don't mean just with your eyes but with everything!"
"Wow, that's a lovely speech, really!" I held my coffee cup. "But my only problem is having to wait for you everytime we decide to meet up. You better have a good excuse." I drank the last sip.
"I was late for about ten minutes," he scoffed but I felt obliged to correct him. "Fifteen." "Fine, fifteen, but to answer your question, yes, I do have a great excuse actually."
Again, he smiled too widely for my taste. "And that is?" I asked. "I'm in love." I have to admit, gravity felt like a truck on top of me at that moment. "Really?" is all I could say.
"She is amazing, and honestly I never imagined myself feeling this way but I do and it feels amazing. I can't explain it but something in me has changed, I feel like a better person."
There it was. The silent sound of a heart breaking. It's never heard because it is never carefully listened. It is meant to be void, because no one really cared.
I grabbed my coffee cup forgetting it was empty until it reached my lips. I laughed at my clumsiness as I placed it back and looked at his emerald eyes.
They were not meant to see me. Only through me. "We have been going out for a couple of months now and we decided to make it official last night." I listened carefully, as a good friend.
"As I was heading to meet you she called me because she needs help with her stuff, she's moving in." That seemed fair, I guess. "But I wanted to share the news with you face to face."
"I'm glad you did." I smiled. Oddly enough it wasn't a forced smile. "I know you're a little skeptical about love and romance but trust me, it's an amazing thing, you'll see."
"Don't be so harsh on yourself when it comes to guys, you're an amazing woman and one day you will understand what it is like to love." I nodded with a platonic smile as he was experiencing life
His phone rang. He called her babe and told her he loved her and that he will be right there. When he hung up he kissed my forehead again and left. I suppose ignorance is bliss.
My skepticism and my refusals of earlier potential lovers were all a masquerade. A simple psychological strategy, a defense mechanism, a cry for help. But he never heard me, he never will.
I payed the bill, stood up and walk all the way to my friends apartment for another cup of coffee. It was an enlightening walk. I was sad, yet something heavy was lifted off my shoulders.
I didn't know when I would move on, but I couldn't wait for that day to come. After all, I was one step ahead of breaking free from this unrequited love.