i hate how you make me feel fire in my lungs.
Fire is good. It's a source of life.
You help me feel fire on days that are warm and sunny.
Where the fire is good.
But there are days where you make me feel a burn in my chest that feels unfathomable to describe.
You make me burn.
you make me feel burning and embers and anguish and anger and hatred.
it's a type of burn that feels poisonous to the touch
can you set snake venom on fire?
you make me want to spin all my veins into an angry wheel of red thread and keep spinning until i have no more left to give. i'll make a sweater out of it and put it to good use.
you are my Source of life. My warmest fire.
YOU created me
the warm hand i felt when i was born.
the warm look you gave me while staring down at my newborn body
the warmth of the milk and cereal you gave me when i was five
who didn't know any better as i touched an open flame
when you left the stove on
you gave me everything.
you've taught me all you know.
You gave me a warm glow, my life, that i will keep burning for as long as my heart desires
You lit the fire to my vibrant soul
you see me burning brightly and scream in pride
at how much bigger your fire is, amongst all the others
how do you nurture a flame?
can't feed it
can't water it (that would kill it)
can't take it out for walks
so keep it burning. for a healthy flame, keep it burning
on days of warmth you make me feel unstoppable. Undousable. STRONG, BURNING BRIGHT FLAME.
i am the LOUDEST and STRONGEST fire in the campsite. I CRACKLE, I HISS, I ROAR. my flames are perfection. my firewood is pristine. and you are PROUD of me
and then there are days where you extinguish me. like a flicker of a candle light. small, quiet. meek. suddenly i am tiny. breakable, pathetic. could be killed by a single blow.
so small, you are ashamed you lit it. the wick isn't strong enough for you, maybe.
then there are days where you make the fire burn so bad i burst.
my chest explodes like a GIANT BONFIRE being fed with fuel.
firewood being thrown into an open hole into the ground
cinders flying around and burning into my skin
it burns so bad i choke on the heat until tears fill my eyes
i feel the smoke entering my lungs, and i hear you providing the pumps
the smoke is in there and it wants to escape
This place isn't very fun to burn. it's too damp and warm with emotion. smoke will do the trick.
its the fire i've seen come from you
But where is the glow i feel on sunny days?
where is the glow from the pasta dish you made that was too spicy to eat?
where is the glow from your eyes when you watch tv with me late at night?
where is the glow i feel from your hands as they touch me and tell me i have worth
where is the sun?
i cannot touch you.
you feel like hell.
and when the day changes the flames go down.
your mind is fast to extinguish the flames, what a talent
like a child being told to stop a tantrum
You continue burning brightly with no care in the world
as if you didn't set me and my house on fire
and left me to burn