Foolish me thought myself free,
Thought I could love,
That I could be free,
But fate gave me that cruel shove,
And down I fell,
Out of love,
The feeling is akin to hell.
I suffered and found,
That I was just bound,
To be a fool and Irate,
Because that is this monochrome clown's fate.
I looked upon the woman I loved,
I thought about the way that I flew as if on doves,
And realized that I was wrong.
Monochrome clowns sing alone,
And I had no way to atone.
And now I'm alone,
Ostracized at home,
now I swim in pain,
I wish I wasn't a whim.
Tap, Tap, Click... Boom.
You simply tap away,
Suicide letter of today,
You say you will act soon,
but never seen like the dark side of the moon,
Still you tap away,
Writing this to say,
Life is too painful for you,
Hurt settles like the morning dew,
Detached from emotion too,
From every last chance you blew,
And this discussion goes on,
You hid behind that mask you don,
But through the tap tap of the type,
you don't hear them while you gripe,
You thought yourself safe from harm from them,
But that safety by them was condemned,
So you stopped typing then,
But they were inside your den,
And you ripped the page free,
Your eyes lit with glee,
You did not hear the creak,
then came the click with no words to speak,
It's like Acid
It eats away at you slowly, melting what you thought was hard,
It makes your heart a sticky mess and leaves your soul quite marred,
You think I speak of what you know, but do you know this is true,
that in this world, there is little else but pain that we are due,
I figured I had taken all my pain and gotten it out of the way,
but pain came a knocking, and my world was sent rocking yesterday,
I saw that grown man crying, the one I thought with a heart made out of stone,
I can barely stand it now, to be inside my home,
Because the tears that were falling, never were my own,
because I have been severed, from emotion nearly whole,
but the streets these days seem bleaker, more monochrome and gray,
And I know my heart is dying, for my family every day,
I glue myself together, But I have begun to fray,
Now I fear I will soon fall apart, in the worst kind of way.
Words As Weapons
Bright lit fires,
sea of cries,
think it is merely rhymes?
Or is it a goodbye?
One shall stand,
one shall fall,
this could be a curtain call,
for bated sighs can be met with death,
and a loss can be gleaned from one's last breath,
poison barbed lies,
a quite loud screech,
Your hand outreached,
This next one was written to my ex on our nine month anniversary. Although we broke up, I kept this because I enjoyed writing it.
You and me
Ever so slightly, winds do change, and blow around this girl, this age, this fifteen years she's lived with pain, and hidden her thoughts and heart from rain,
her rainy room that drowns in tears because she is enveloped by her fears. This age, this girl with bated breath, poises the scissors to take her final breath.
Then with a ding and a movement too, she finds a sweet message from you.
You, who is the boy who though cruel he seems, is the boy that fuels her sweet dreams, she may have hurt that is here to stay, but you retain happiness, to brighten her day.
You never thought she was at this peak, but now your walls had sprung a leak. A leak through which forbidden affection could flow, blanketing her like arctic snow.
She called you names that you used to know, and now your sweetness starts to show. You coddled her like a young bear cub, after all Ty-Bear was your nickname, bub.
You put her first, and sank in deep, because depression really began to reap, it ripped on minds and heartstrings too, but your heart could not lie to you.
And when the air and and winds turned cold, shortly before thanksgiving you told, you told her of your love, and now you see that she was in love too but she couldn't admit it first to you.
Now nine months later here we are, one great love above the bar, and the day you can hug her freely starts, they will be unable to keep you apart, for love may rhyme with me or you,
but the concept of Us will get us through.
Now I would like to say thank you for reading, but there is one more poem to read, but it's a little unorthodox.
It's a poem that took a lot of my raw anger and hatred towards my birth mother and put it into words.
It may seem strange, but to answer those who question why, it's because my birth mother allowed me to suffer through three years of abuse. Physical, Verbal, and Mental.
I was often beaten until I couldn't stand every day. So my hate is not unfounded, but I'm not proud of it either.
You said you were there.
You lied and sat there.
The pain was a horror.
Just like every day.
You know you're the problem.
Only you can stop my pain.
But you let the blows rain down.
Your son suffered before you.
What kind of mother could you be.
You don't know the answers.
Like you no longer know me.
I have a taste for violence.
A taste for guns and blades.
I was drowning in your lies bitch.
But yet you didn't care.
No longer do you cry bitch.
For your soul you seemed to sell.
Now I say goodbye bitch.
Now mother GO TO HELL.
But don't you say goodbye bitch.
Because now mother you can burn as well.