I sit with my dreams at the table in the home within my heart, We conversate and cooperate and never grow apart.
But my dreams show me a futile life I can never ever achieve, and sometimes it makes me wish I had the key to the door so I can leave.
They show me a life with a past love where I was happy as could be, but forlorn longing for such a thing is all that I can see.
Car rides and bus trips with a girl with curly fiery hair, A dream I once had recently that when I woke left me gasping for air.
A hug or two and a kiss shared by a scorching firelight, but I awoke in close tears and sighed out loud as there was no such thing in sight.
A lonely boy who lives in the dark with only cold concreate walls to find, 3rd shift labor and solemn dreams are my only escape from my mind.
My heart is in my throat as I write as there is no hope in sight, but I'll remain steadfast and forge my path into the night.
I succumb to sleep many a time and she is omnipresent in my sight, her stormy eyes and copper hair are something for which I would fight.
But she is not mine and never was as she did not feel the same as I. I cannot shed tears over this as fantasies that never were are only meant to make me cry.
The one who I let walk away, the woman that I wish could have stayed, but bittersweet tears and happy moments are all that I had made.
Forlorn eyes look out to the stars, if you think there's anger I have none, for her happiness is what I longed for and by her pain I was undone.
I think upon our memories and our fantasies as fun, and If I had the courage I would have walked out of her life as fast as the quickly setting sun.
Not to abandon or leave her behind as she is a precious friend, but simply to make sure that my presence does not bring her pain in the end.
Her bright smile still fills my mind and makes my heart leap with joy, the moments I got where I was able to love her makes me feel like a little boy.
But chapters pass and characters evolve and all things come to an end, and now I beg my dreams to not torture me with fantasies of such a precious friend.
But I cannot escape my mind, and the dreams will likely never end, so I hope with a bitter smile that the pain ceases with this piece I've penned.
That my dreams do not become demons that use such a precious one as a taunt, as she is someone who helped mold me into a better person today, and I'd truly hate myself if the thought of her caused fear to haunt.
So sincerely I write this, with emotions surging from this pen, so I can leave such foolish foolish fantasies in the past back then.
So I can finally take a step forward and not take two steps back again, so that she can leave a bad taste like me in the past back when.
So that my dreams will let her leave my mind and only be a precious friend, And so that this idiot I am can finally let this saga come to an end.