I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I am writing. It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.
I can hear 1 year into the future. Today, the noise stopped.
I told her there was no monster in her closet as I picked her up and told her she could sleep with us tonight. I figured that was the safest way of getting her out of the house without him realizing I saw him.
The driver wasn't very chatty so I picked up my phone. My Uber told me he was outside.
I was video chatting and dropped my phone in the floor, as I picked it up, my husbands face changed. He held his hands to his lips as if saying to be quiet and to my horror, he wrote: "There's a man under your bed."
They say a shiver down your spine means that somebody's walking over your future burial site. As my husband walks around outside gardening, the shivers won't stop.
While tidying my laboratory, I came across an unfamiliar notebook and opened the first page. "WARNING: The subject still thinks he's the scientist."
"I've always wondered, what's the scythe for, anyway?" I asked as Death escorted me to the Underworld. "Protection."
"I've missed you so much," I whispered as she removed her clothes to take a shower. Watching her through my new binoculars was painful, but at least I'd found where her new house was.
I had a dream I was being dragged into hell, burning and writhing in agony. I woke up with the doctor standing over me saying, "Whew, we'd lost you for a few minutes."
I finally got into a comfortable and warm position under my bed covers. I then had to pee.
Give a man a fish and he won't notice you dumping a dead body in the lake. Teach a man to fish and he'll be alone at the crime site when the police show up.
As I woke up in the middle of the night, I heard Alexa speak: "OK, the alarms have been disabled."
"Finally, I'm done with my homework." I turn the page and in horror, I see it's double-sided.
Dno't pnaic, tihs is yuor bairn, I dno't hvae mcuh tmie, it cna't dciehper scblramed wrods, get hlep, it's arleady insdie of you. "You're fine."