You're friends with my rapist
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ericafridulfAmateur writer
Autoplay OFF  •  10 months ago
I never wanted to make this, but it's been so hard for me to say vocally.. I know no one who knows me will ever see this, but I hope it helps with the healing process.

You're friends with my rapist

by ericafridulf

My RAPIST

The one who destroyed a part of me. Who forced me to do things I wasn't ready for. The "super-senior" who made my best friend break down. Who ruined my life.

When you're friends with my rapist

I find it hard to be friends with you. When you sit together at lunch, I never feel safe walking by. If he's around, I can't even say hi.

Do you not understand how it makes me feel?

To know that you remain friends with someone who violated me. It's not like you can say you didn't know it happened. I told you it did. I told you it bothered me. That I was uncomfortable.

I don't like saying it: the R word

For so long I blamed myself, so it still feels wrong saying it. But I know now it couldn't have been my fault if I kept saying no and that I didn't want to.

If I could say it more, I would

I'd tell everyone to be wary of the "super-senior" who hurt me. I would beg them to cut off ties with the boy who sent me to a psychiatrist. But it's hard for me to say. He was once my friend too

You're still friends with my rapist

And I think I have to give you a choice now. Be friends with the victim who rather not even talk about it, or the rapist who probably gloated about it once or twice.

My story is mine

So I ask of you to please not let me be just a story of his

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ericafridulfAmateur writer
10 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil Thank you for clarifying, and thank you for your support. I do wish my friend felt the same. Perhaps I will show him this and then see his take on it.

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
10 months agoReply
@ericafridulf To me, sympathy is rooted in pity. If I were to have sympathy for you it would mean that you are not the conquering hero as I see you. I never want sympathy. Understanding yes. Sympathy no! You have shown yourself to have too much dignity, strength, and courage for sympathy. You are on your way to being a conqueror. My support? I will shut up and listen. I will let you tell your story without interruptions or stupid questions. I also offer any support that you ask of me. You are a pearl of great price. With what happened, I am just pissed. I empathize with you and how you feel about yourself. You have my empathy. I agree with you about friendship. Your friends should not be friends with him too. That is cowardice. Your friends should want to rip his head off and shit down his lungs. If we had been in school together I would have opened a can of whoop-ass on him everyday he came to school. You are right in questioning your mutual friend's integrity.

ericafridulfAmateur writer
10 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil What is support without sympathy? What is sympathy to you? What support do you give? Do you support my work or do you support my ability to be open with what happened to me? Do you not sympathize with what happened or is it you do not sympathize with how I feel about my friend? These questions are not meant to be attacking; I am just curious and confused.

10 months agoReply
i'm so sorry this happened. this is not okay. and i hope your friend will come to see that

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
10 months agoReply
This was a magnificent piece of work. It took great courage to write this. You do not have my sympathy. You do, however, have my admiration, respect, and support. Excellent work!!!!!!