“Hey, I didn’t know you’d be here” “I actually wasn’t gonna come, but I changed my mind in the last minute, been here long?”
“About 10 minutes ago, did my rounds, said hi to everyone, and got bored… Then I ran into you” “Talking to me for 5 second can immediately make you overcome boredom?”
“Just thinking about you can make me overcome anything”… ... No, not that!! Too cheesy, start over again.
She had been thinking about it all day long. It was gonna be the perfect night. She even dreamt about it.
She was going to go to that party, she was going to talk to him and it was all gonna change.
She had had the conversation in her head 40 times, in front of the mirror other 20 times,
she had even rehearsed the different ways the conversation would go and had anticipated what she’d say to him. Of course… that was not what happened. That’s never what happens.
“Annie, are you ready?” Celeste shouted impatiently from downstairs. She was always like that, always thinking about the thing that was happening after the thing that was happening right now.
“In a minute!” Annie said looking at her reflection in the mirror one last time (and finishing rehearsing the conversation she was gonna have with him one more time).
Perfect! She thought, I’m really doing it this time, I will not back out, and I will not convince myself that I can’t do it. I’ll talk to him, we’ll fall in love, I’ll be happy, finally.
“I’m growing old down here, hurry up before they run out of beer, the taxi is already here”
“Ready!” Annie says as she comes down the stairs yells goodbye to her dogs and heads out the door.
“Wearing red to a party… again” Celeste says
“Yep” Annie replies bluntly
“He said it ONCE, once he said he liked girls wearing red, he didn’t even say it to you, he was flirting with another girl” Celeste said, annoyed about having to have this conversation again.
“Well, that doesn’t make it any less true, does it? I’ve even experimented with it a couple of times, whenever I’m wearing red and his eyes glance over me, they linger a little bit more, he hangs around me more, he teases me more, he likes me more when I wear red” Annie confessed, not having planned to say that much.
“As a friend, he likes you as a friend, he thinks you’re hot, but he’ll always see you as a friend”
“We’ve kissed before. He’s been jealous of other guys before”
“Because he’s possessive and thinks he owns the world and the world should love and worship him, it has nothing to do with you specifically”
Celeste had always been her most honest friend, she thinks it; she says it.
That’s what she loved and hated about her, she could always trust she’d get a straight answer from her, but sometimes, just sometimes,
you want that friend that will get all giddy with you and say YES I think he likes you back, even though, you both know, deep down, that it will never be true.
They got in the taxi, the party was about 30 minutes away, they talked about whatever, as they always did.
Celeste talked about class and the guy she met last week, Annie listened, answered, laughed with her, but she kept thinking that tonight, everything would change.
When they got to the party he wasn’t there yet, she hang around, talked to everybody, they were all her best friends anyway, but she was tired of them, always the same conversations, always the same jokes, always the same faces. Except for him, he was new, but he settled in with everyone as if he’d been there all along.
He didn’t get the jokes at first, couldn’t follow the conversations, he knew some of the people they talked about but not all of them.
She’d sometimes explain the joke to him, tell the full story instead, not only the punchline, but sometimes, she wouldn’t, and if she didn’t no one would take the time to do it,
they had to get to the next joke, tease the same person about the same story they’d been teased about before a thousand times, she wouldn’t explain it to him, just to watch him squirm,
just to pull him down from the cloud he lived in and try and make him realize the world doesn’t revolve around him, even for a few minutes.
Eventually, when he really felt part of the group, and he also felt like he’d been there forever, he’d get mad if they talked about some party he hadn’t been to,
some amazing person they’d met in the 12 years of friendship they had, they’d all laugh, she’d tease him about it, how he was getting mad cause he wasn’t there, and somehow,
he found a way to make these stories, that weren’t about him,
be about him.
He’d usually have some girl with him at these kind of things. She hated it.
She always did, even before the feelings started, because those girls didn’t belong in their close knit group, they always felt out of place,
he’d have to explain the jokes and the stories to them, but he didn’t care enough about them no take the time to do so, so they’d just sit there,
with a frozen smile plastered on their faces pretending they had some idea of what was going on, pretending they could follow the conversation.
He’d laugh with them, get them drinks, act like a gentleman (which he isn’t, he never will be), but there was always some kind of connection with Annie, they all knew it.
They watched how, always, at some point of the night, even if he’d taken a girl or not, they’d somehow end up in their own little world, talking about anything and everything.
Eventually, at the end of the night, he’d leave with the girl if he’d gone with one, or alone if he hadn’t, sometimes if they went out he’d leave with a girl he just met,
sometimes he even went out with a girl and left with another. She’d always go home alone.
She wanted him, but she didn’t know how to get him, he actually wasn’t so hard to get, but she didn’t want to risk it, they were friends now, right?
Close friends, they hang out every weekend, he wasn’t going to leave the other girls for her, although she always had something over them, they didn’t have the connection she had with him.
Tonight, she was gonna let go of all the second thoughts, of all the caution she’d had around him, she was gonna go for it.
The door opened. She didn’t turn around, she knew it was him, she could always tell when it was him.
The boys would get all excited cause he’d usually bring some really skimped clothed girl with him, the girls would roll their eyes, especially the ones that had boyfriends there, they usually hated him the most.
Her? She could tell it was him because her heart would skip a beat, she knew it was him from the way he opened the door and the feel of the room changed.
She pretended she didn’t care it was him, like always, even though, like always, she would surely almost stop breathing when he said hi to her because he was always a little happier to see her than everyone there,
even though she was usually always there.
Then, she remembered this time it had to be different, she had to make the night different, this time she plastered a huge smile on her face,
didn’t care who saw,
and turned around to say hi to him.
He had definitely arrived, but the night wasn’t gonna be different, it was never gonna be.
He had arrived…