"Roby, did you hear? Our school-reunion is coming up", Carmen carefully explains. Rob does not respond. Unabashedly, Carmen continues, "You know what I'm thinking, our school prank was really a fail at the time. I mean we stuck condoms on the wall. That's it . So creative right".
"Since, you're such a sexy bad-ass spy and all (and such a great singer too), help me pull a prank", Carmen insists. "Carmen, is a lousy silly prank worth it? You know it's not safe meeting with 'them' ", Rob cajoles. "Yes, it is! I'll make it worth your while", Carmen softly whispers.
Rob profusely shakes his head and says, "The stuff you make me do, all because you batt your eyes at me. You know I can batt my eyelashes too". "Trust me, I've noticed", Carmen flirtatiously responds.
Two weeks later. Carmen enthusiastically enlists old classmates in to operation prank . Finally, it is the day of the prank. Excitedly, everyone greets one another. Specifically, everyone makes it a point, to tell Carmen how much weight she lost (seriously, why is it the first thing anybody notices).
As time continues to tick, the melody of the James Bond theme song plays in Carmen's head. Also, Carmen questions why Roby never lets her join in on the spy- fun .You think he would, considering he owns a spy company.
Carmen, reaches for her phone preparing to hit send on 'operation go' . Suddenly, a group of men in black surround her and point their guns at her. Robby's enemies clearly extend to this reunion.
Carmen's mind starts working on override. But, Jade, I thought he was part of the prank. How can he have his gun pointing at me? I helped him find a prom date. He helped me pass Algebra.
Meanwhile, Jade's boss yells, "Shoot her. Shoot her". Jade hesitates, his hand shakes uncontrollably. Then, he screams , "I can't shoot her she -" Jade also did not have time to continue his thought as a large vacuuming noise interrupts him.
The easiest way to describe it is as a vacuum cleaner with a spongey appearance, in the shape of an eye ball. The machine hums and sucks both Jade and Carmen up. Clumsily, their bodies bounce off the spongey interiors of the spy- vacuum. Rob uncharacteristically does not help Carmen up.
Carmen instantly notices his hands shaking and sweat dripping from his handsome beard. Really, all she wants to do is lick his sweat off. But, he is angry at her now, and she can't help but feel a pang of guilt.
Carmen starts pleading, 'I'm sorry- ". "Stop, just stop", Robby interrupts her. "We don't have time for that now. You know they are already tracking us as we speak . And we are outnumbered. Here, wear this kit". Rob continues, "Soon, we'll have to jump off".
The equipment Rob provides is akin to a skydiving kit . However, its metallic pieces encompass you like a hug. Simply, you enter your location in to the system's GPS and it "delivers" you.
On the count of 1, 2- really, there is no time to count. Everyone (really they are only 3 people) jump down in a haste. Conveniently, the location is only 15 minutes away (I couldn't have timed it better, if I wrote it myself).
In the midst of the sky, Carmen can't help but hug rob. She holds him from behind and whispers into the mouthpiece attached to her ear, " I'm sorry. Can I hug you? " Rob, can't help but laugh despite his anger. "You ask if you can hug me, but your hands are already wrapped around me", Rob says.
Carmen continues to squeeze him. This just makes Rob laugh more. "You're insane. In a time like this, you're thinking of hugging", he exclaims out-loud.
Lost in the comfort of Roby's arms, carmen is shocked when he roughly shoves her off. "Carmen, we reached" , he barks. He continues, "You have to let go now. Focus, we are about to land in a lot of water. You need to stay focused. Please focus. You can do this". Begrudgingly, Carmen snaps out of her daydream and insists she's ready.
Rob hands both Carmen and Jade equipment that looks like plumbing utensils (seriously where does he keep getting this equipment from, aren't they supposed to be traveling in thin air?). "Soon you won't be able to breathe. Use this to hold on the wall in the water and continue going down. Also, this is your mouthpiece- it will help you breathe", Rob firmly orders.
Everyone abruptly lands on a surface that has water, but it is not a pool, or a sea. . The walls are strategically placed with magnetic fields that supports the 'plumbing' devices (i.e. artificially created?) Rob and Jade are already ahead in their swim. Carmen, feels she's slowing them down. She's tired.
And her wobbly knees are not helping. She's sure she heard a snap. Fuck. Fuck. I can't slow them down. She yells, "Go ahead guys, my shoe flipper thingy just slipped. I'll fix it now. And be right in". Accordingly, Jade quickly dives in. With the help of the plumbing device closely strung to the wall, Jade successfully swishes down to what he feels is the abyss.
But, Rob remains in his spot, waiting for carmen to jump in. What is taking her so long? His wondering need not wait long, for the sounds of bangs echo. Rob instantly swims to Carmen and pulls her under-water.
Rob hurriedly takes the plumbing device and shackles it to the wall. He then, pulls out a string device. He firmly clicks a button and a long wire spurts out. Expertly, Rob dives down to the end of the wire and pushes carmen down with him. This tired routine repeats for a good 30 minutes until they reach the end-spot.
Jade is already waiting there. There at the bottoms, lies a passage way to a health club. At the health club, Rob expertly deciphers his way until he enters an old scraggly room that does not match the industrious exterior of this building.
He places his finger on a fingerprint marker and an elevator appears. This elevator leads to a vacant underground safe- house . Rob seals the door and begins to speak freely.
"Even, if they come now. They will not find us. This room is in a secret position, it is sound proofed and decodes all phone signals and devices" , Rob claims. Obviously , Carmen they were tracking you from your phone( I told you not to add those people, but do you listen). Here , they will not be able to reach you. But, we won't be able to hear them either.
The advents of the day finally hit Carmen, and she lets out a loud squealing cry, similar to a seal (not at all ladylike). Then, she crumbles to the floor. It's only then that Rob notices that her knee is swollen. "Carmen, why didn't you tell me you were in pain" , he hastily asks.
She continues to sob uncontrollably, " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do this. I'm so stupid. I should have never wanted to do a stupid prank". "I just wanted to feel normal for once , it's difficult not being able to have friends", she continues.
Rob winces at seeing Carmen in so much pain. "Doll. Stop crying you know I can't stand it, he firmly says as he caresses her hair. Carmen, I order you to stop". Suddenly, carmen's fountain of tears stop. Rob, holds her tight and pulls her to his body." Shhh, they will not be able to find us here. Trust me" (i.e. yes, trust the person who says trust me), he whispers.
"We're just going to have to stay here for a while because they are monitoring us. I own this building sweetheart if you didn't notice by now", he softly says. The next week passes in a blur. Carmen forgot how much she enjoyed Jade's company. Her best-friend from her youth .
One morning, Carmen punches Jade in the stomach. She playfully says, "I can't believe you almost killed me. Jade: Hey, I didn't, that's what counts.
Rob instantly interferes, he can't help but feel that Jade has a crush on Carmen. Nonetheless, as a token of his appreciation, Rob informs Jade he will have a job in his organization when they make it out (sure, because that's what any normal jealous boyfriend would do). But, he does not trust him...
Unfortunately, everything you just read is a lie (if you made it this far) .Well, except for the actual prank . I'm afraid Jade / Rob do not exist. As for Carmen, she may be my damsel alter ego in my spy dreams. But, she's surely fictional ( I would never be caught dead licking someone's sweat). Carmen seems to have a savior complex. Rob may be too controlling. Moral of the story: all the characters are annoying.