unattractively tragic
unattractively tragic  stories
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coreiflowersi like writing and almond butter
Autoplay OFF  •  2 years ago
i wrote this a while ago and it's kind of a mess but whatever

unattractively tragic

by coreiflowers

i cannot lie and act as though my life has ever resembled

the rubble and devastation of the truly remarkable souls with which i have found myself surrounded

i have never bled until my skin turned white and shriveled

i have never cried until my knees began to quiver and creek beneath me

i have never been so desperate

that every breath felt cold, perverted, and above all, inadequate

but, i have felt salt burn the skin that i willingly peeled

i have welcomed the bile in my throat like an ex-lover who gets off on watching me suffer

i have reopened wounds with the blade of a kitchen knife

in the hopes that beneath the surface of my skin i would uncover some sort of self esteem

i have awoken to carnivorous desperation

gnawing its way to the arch of my glass spine

i have inhaled toxins which spilled from my own body

only to be cleansed with bleach and denial and excuses

i have abused and used and bruised my insides

and have been praised in the process

and i have found redemption through therapists

posing as moments of fleeting jubilance

i have seen her, i still see her

in reflections, in the eyes of those who's opinions i admire, in myself

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