Every night I get in a little ball, and I cry my eyes out. Wondering what I do so wrong, To be treated so badly...
But then I realized, I deserved every pain I got. Because I ruined you.. even when I didn't mean to, which I never did. I ruined you. So after I'm done crying I sit up. an try not to cry more.
But the tears never stop. Because I am so deeply in love with you, I regret everything I have ever said to hurt you. from anger that I can't control.
I thought maybe killing myself would fix everything. because if I'm not here, I wouldn't be able to hurt you with my words right? It would be an easy life without me.
I broke you many months ago, so the pain you're giving me back I deserve. So I am no victim in any of this. I deserve what I am getting. so this pain will never end because you'll remind me.
Of everything I do an did wrong, In the past and now. and you told me if I don't change than we wont be together. For the sake of my relationship I'm changing myself for someone who may leave me.
But maybe change will be worth it. what if he doesn't leave me? What if after I change we go back to being happy, or even better than what we already were when there wasn't any arguments.
I think of the nights we'd sleep together. Hugging you, waking up in the night seeing your face.. it was amazing the warmth, the ease my heart would be at. My pain was washed away when we slept.
So the answer is, Yes its worth it. Every argument , every tear shed. Without those we wouldn't be so strong together. I'm more than happy to change for you. Because it is worth it.