We are not meant to be.
I gasped as my eyes shut wide open with a start. My chest tightened. Ι felt like I couldn't breathe.
It took me a couple of minutes to adjust to reality, to remind myself that the walls would not crash against me, would not shatter me into tiny pieces of nothing. At least not yet.
Tamlin had not come to my room. Not tonight, not any of the nights past my return on the Spring Court.
Space, he once explained as we strolled down the garden, my eyes solely focused on the flowery path.
-I can't risk losing you again.
-I was never yours to lose, I considered as a way of replying but kept my mouth shut.
And now, after a month of putting up with him through pointless conversations and awkward moments of silence that took like forever... I sighed.
My eyes darted to the evening sky, so few stars streaming in through the skylight. I hesitantly made my way to the cushions on the marble floor, which formed a chair-something, and sat down.
I let my head rest on the wall as I took in the clouds obscuring the moon. Tears started rolling down my cheeks and I almost immediately started sobbing.
Couldn't keep it in, not when I was so far away from home... away from him.
-I miss you, I whispered, tugging on the bond. I had never felt it any weaker. I shuddered, before quickly adding, Are they well?
The reply was a long-time coming. They are healing. You bow to no one. Ever.
I wondered how many times he kept telling himself just that whilst suffering Under the Mountain.
What it took of him to run Amarantha's errands, praying that the nightmare his life had become would finally come to an end... and never break down. Not once.
I stared right into the darkness of the night sky. There were no more stars to guide me. Not there, at the Spring Court. I felt my tattoo, covered in glamour under my skin, pick up in response.
I kept my chin held high, as I said through the bond, I am the High Lady of the Night Court. It is the others who bow low to me.
I braced myself before allowing the bond to shine bright. Right through me, tearing the danger and gears and angst apart. Cursebreaker.
I was the light through the endless night, the hope beneath the despair. We were meant to be together, Rhys and I. No matter what.
As my power faded and my glow at last merged with the darkness, I looked up at the sky. And I could swear I spotted a shooting star passing right in front of me. Shining just for me.
-To the stars who listen, my mate called back.
I smiled, beaming with happiness.
-And the dreams that are answered.
A short pause.
-I love you, Feyre Archeron. Always.