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chaoticteensa confused teenager in a big, big world
Autoplay OFF  •  10 months ago
I'm so confused about this boy I'm dating. Please leave advice in the comments.

you

by chaoticteens

the past few days i've felt so empty

absolutely nothing makes me feel anything.

i type a few words...then i quickly erase them

your name pops up. my heart flutters.

you live in the fast lane; partying, having fun

I sit at home in the dark, crying, because I am too sad to get out of bed

you say you love me, but how can you love the demons in me?

some days are easier than others. i feel happy. i feel love and excitement and everything seems normal.

i often forget that we're from two different worlds

you have tons of friends and a family that loves you i only have my best friend and myself

you say that you love me, but you don't show it

you take hours to reply to my texts and messages, but I know that you're constantly on your phone

you send me hearts and you hit me up when you want...

but what about what I want? what about when I need you to be there for me?

i know i've fallen hard for you

and at first it seemed like you really were interested in me. now i'm confused because it seems like you don't care about me at all

i always try to make time to see you

but it seems like you never want to see me. why? why why why why WHY WHY WHY?

I have so many unanswered questions for you

i feel so jealous of the girls you make time for, although you call me your girlfriend. i don't know what to believe.

i hate that i feel so confused and unsure of us

what do I do?

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darklylovedCommabassadorDelicately Chaotic
10 months agoReply
=) I hoped I helped in some kind of way!!!!!!!!!! Honestly you deserve better and I promis you you'll find someone...

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
10 months agoReply
@chaoticteens Young lady, you come firstt. You sound, from your reply, good. Stay that way. If you need to vent, vent here.

chaoticteensa confused teenager in a big, big world
10 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil Yes, I have been diagnosed with depression and I've been in treatment for several months now, and am slowly getting better! Thank you for your kind words, I will give my relationship some more time and then see where it goes from there. Thank you :)

chaoticteensa confused teenager in a big, big world
10 months agoReply
@darklyloved thank you! :)

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
10 months agoReply
I think you should re-read your poem. Ask yourself, "Would I want to be with a person like me? Too depressed to get out of bed. Too depressed to go out and party. Too depressed to make more than one friend. "You say you love me but you don't show it." Where does that come from? What are your demands for proof of love, for "show"? I think the salient point is if this story/poem is your objective truth, you are exhibiting symptoms of some pretty profound clinical depression. Forget this boy. Get yourself into treatment and rebuild your self-esteem. You are an incredibly talented writer. It would be a shame to waste your life suffering from a disorder that can be treated. You are too valuable to lose into "the darkness" I agree with @darklyloved. It appears that you have constructed a relationship and a "boyfriend" who just isn't there. It sounds like he only comes around when he gets horny. You are better than that. I am not being judgemental. I will help you in anyway I can. Much love!

darklylovedCommabassadorDelicately Chaotic
10 months agoReply
My honest advice even if you don't want to believe it is that if your boyfriend seems more distant and doesn't show you that you're special to him, leave him. There are 7.3 billion people on this planet and I guarantee you there is someone out there that can love you more, make you feel more alive, give you something to look forward to when you don;t know what to do or when you feel empty. Sure, you haven't found the right one but don't rush thing. And if you leave him and he dosen't come back, he wasn't there in the first place, only a mirage, and image you just wanted to believe or see.