Cold
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chaoticteensa confused teenager in a big, big world
Autoplay OFF  •  10 months ago
The story of the first time I tried to commit suicide.

Cold

by chaoticteens

I closed my eyes

I breathed in the winter air, allowing my lungs to warm the oxygen and my blood cells to carry it throughout my body.

Nothing could hurt me when my eyes were closed.

At least that's what I told myself as I sat on the railing of a bridge near my house.

I thought about my family, what they might do after it all.

My dad would go to work like he always does, but this time he wouldn't be driving his daughter to school. He would be late to work, unable to get out of bed.

My Brother...

He'd get up for school as usual, but late , since his sister didn't wake him up like she usually does. He'll walk to school, and quietly sit in class while others whisper around him

My mother lays in bed all day

she spends every single second thinking about where she went wrong, what she could have done differently, and wishes that she had listened when her daughter cried for help.

A gust of wind blows my hair into my face

My eyes open and I look down into the sea of traffic. My hands are frozen to the railing, my body so, so cold.

I look around

In the distance I see the C.N. Tower. I've never been to the top, I wonder what Toronto looks like from there.

A car honks behind me

One of my hands lets go of the railing, and i slip. I catch myself, but I know what I need to do now.

A few tears sneak out of my eyes

I plant two feat firmly on the sidewalk, and turn around to take one last look at what would have been my last view of my life

I shove my frozen hands into the pockets of my jacket

I kick some snow on the ground and I begin my walk home.

I sit down with my family for dinner

I cry. I ask for help. I receive it.

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10 months agoReply
Having the courage to ask for help is something that should be a lot easier than it is I'm so glad you did nice post

chaoticteensa confused teenager in a big, big world
10 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil thank you so much, your kind words mean so much to me! I'm glad you liked it :)

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
10 months agoReply
This confession was also a piece of art. Your creative soul was on that bridge . I am thankful that you saved that soul for me to read about. Your words were honest, courageous and inspirational. Greay job!!!!!