Disclaimer: Read at your own risk.
First meeting, say Hi is easy! He introduces himself to you and you at the same time.
Second meeting, say Hi again! You are getting to know each other; sharing of thoughts and laughing each other with each others' corny jokes.
Later on, you become good friends. You know about him as he knows about you too. He shares his past as well as yours too.
You become closer and closer. You know what he likes and dislikes. You are more comfortable to each other now. Everything you want to say, you can say it to him because you are now close.
He is very sweet to you. He shows some intimacy that you make you assume of something that you don't know. Exchanging sweet messages and cares are unfailingly showed.
He is kept on telling you, I care for you... I care for you... I care for you... Why can't you directly say I LOVE YOU?
The day has come that he is leaving. At that day, you feel that you are missing him. Then, finally you realize that you love him more than friends...
He goes back and introduces to you his girlfriend. It really breaks your heart into pieces. "MOVE ON", as your mind says.
Now, you decides to stop exchanging messages. He is asking you, "Why?" You just answer, "nothing" and it's totally opposite on what's your heart really wants to say.
"I want to be happy, I may now sound selfish but I have to love myself first, I have to say goodbye" mind says. You cannot say it in words. You just bow your head and say nothing at all.
Now, you inspire to write something on your blog. You express everything in there. You say goodbye on a paper but not to him. You afraid to lose him but you have to especially now he is now married.
Seconds, Minutes, Hours, Days, Months and Years have passed. He has now two lovely children and you are still there seeing them very happy.
When he and his wife fight, you are still there for him ready to comfort. Why can't I say goodbye? Maybe because do you still need me?
You know it's all wrong but it feels so right. You are happy when you see him happy because of you.
Here you go again, you assume that he loves you eventhough that it is not good. Even, he loves you but he can't give time to you as you dream of. Much better to leave rather than telling him goodbye which his reaction makes you stay. Your mind tells you that.....
Your heart responses, you should stay, he needs you. In times of trouble, he needs you, don't let him go because he can't get over without you. He needs you as his bestfriend on his side.. just a bestfriend... nothing more than that...
But people judge you, can you take it? He has family and he is not your responsibility... you don't even know he loves you because he doesn't tell you that.
You don't really care that he doesn't tell that he loves you as long as you love him. But you feel it right? Remember, Action speaks more than words. -Heart argues
Mind is on fire and tells you, Actions without words are nothing. Don't assume if you don't want to get hurt. Have pity on yourself and learn where will you stand and who are you on his life. Set limitation if you know that your relationship label is just best friends....
Your mind and heart fight. Which will you choose?
You end up crying while reminiscing your past together.. In the end, you realize, all of those are just part of your history.
You decide to leave and start a new life again. You erase all the connection with him, leave without notice. Not all goodbyes are goodbyes. Sometimes, you should set all your things on your own, no need a closure.
It hurts from the start but later on you will get used to it. Don't force to say goodbye to your first love... time will lead you to that.
Goodbye is just one word but it's hard to say to the person you love the most.
Many years have passed and you have your own family. Then, suddenly, destiny allows you to meet him again, But this time.....
You are now totally stranger to him again.... And it's hardly to say.... Hi?
Hi and Goodbye to my First Love 😊 Written by: Celmarne