Is it love I ask my self? Trying to convince myself it is To prevent the agony and pain of it being otherwise
He loves me I repeat to myself He has to I'm him I'm made of him He created me He has to love me "He loves me!" I yell out at the top of my lungs into the cold air
As much as I want to believe it It isnt true It isnt. And im trying to be okay with that But day by day it gets harder and harder Painful as more time passes
He sometimes shows affection But then I realize, its only to recieve affection back He buys me gifts and pays for me, But then I realize its only an attempt to 'buy' me
He abuses me Then claims its out of love He deprives me from my basic rights, of freedom and happiness Then claims it's to protect me Is it really? And claims its out of love Is it really?
Mixed signals Everyday Is a new day He treats me based on his mood Based on his needs and desires He pretends to 'love' me in an attempt to trap me under his weight
He loves me He has to He must love me That's all I really seek to believe But the more and more I repeat these words to myself The more pathetic I feel
He loves me He has to He is my father after all... He has to love his own daughter Or maybe I'm just unlucky or unworthy of your love