"Lot number 43, a stool that belonged to King Henry VIII of England," said the auctioneer.
"Hey buddy! When you say 'stool' you mean a turd, right?" said the American billionaire. "That's correct, sir."
"It's kinda small, considering Henry's reputation for consuming food on an industrial scale. "It is 400 years old, sir."
"It's also..." "Not displaying the signs of a healthy moisture content?" "Exactly."
"Do bear in mind that in the 16th century vacuum sealing a turd was just a hazy concept in a troubled court jester's mind."
"Well, when you put it like that." "And again! Lot 43..."