'Homework overload' is sweeping the country. The condition affects teenage school pupils, causing stress and anxiety.
Schools are installing 'Chill Zones' where pupils will receive counselling, aromatherapy and Indian head massages daily.
Fourteen-year-old Chantelle is a sufferer. Her parents, not the brightest crayons in the bag apparently, are naturally concerned about their daughter's wellbeing.
They are demanding that all schools enforce a blanket homework ban, taking effect immediately. 'It's disgusting, innit?' They commented on national TV.
Strangely enough, despite her stress and anxiety, Chantelle can still find five hours out of every day to fart around on her mobile phone.