She was the fairest maiden in the kingdom, nineteen summers' old, the king's daughter, and desired by many.
"Sorted!" said the queen's hand maiden. "Your daughter has been fitted with a chastity belt and this is the only key." She handed it to the king.
The king would be gone for six months.
"Nooooo!" the king wailed on his return. "How could this have happened? My daughter is with child, this is surely the work of the devil himself - or black magic."
"Actually," said the court jester, "it is neither - the town locksmith got your daughter up the spout."