"Five pence! Five pence for a bleedin' plastic carrier bag!" said Jim, incensed. "Yep," said the checkout girl.
"But they're free in Tesco." "Not any more, it's one of those EU Directive or UK Government thingies. You know, saving the environment."
"Bloody diktats, is there nothing sacred that they won't interfere with?" "Apparently not. So, how many bags do you want?" "Um, five."
"There you go," said the checkout girl. "Thanks for those, luv."
"You could save yourself a bit of money by getting a bag for life." "I've already got one, I've been married to her for thirty years."