"We are experiencing teething problems with our new scanner, Mrs Smith. You won't see baby on the screen but I will print an image for you instead." "Okay."
"There's your printout." "What's that blob?" "That's baby's head."
"And that blob?" "That's another head." "And that blob?" "That's baby's third head." "MY BABY HAS THREE FREAKIN' HEADS!"
"Yes. That would come under the NHS umbrella of diversity." "I'm carrying a freakin' three-headed alien and you're talking about diversity!"
"One second, our tech guy wants a word. Apparently the printer is 'ghosting' so baby only has one head." "Only! Freakin' NHS numpties!"