"Do you mind if we have sex with the light off?" said Beryl. "With the light off? I've never done it with the light off. I suppose so," said Barry.
Beryl switched the light off - the bedroom was mineshaft-dark. "Just going for a meander, luv," Barry announced, as he slipped beneath the covers.
He recced the contours of Beryl's body, umming and ahhing on his journey.
After ten minutes, and reasonably confident with the variable terrain, Barry made his move - "Damn! I can't get it in!"
"I'm not surprised," said Beryl. "You're trying to stick it in my bloody ear!"