Before I start, I'm going to remind you that I love you .
I don't say it a lot but I do love you alot
Still you are controlling
You're a controller
It's in your best intentions I know
You control my appearance
I'm uncomfortable in my own skin because of you
I have social anxiety because of you
I can't wear what I want and be who I want because of you
I care too much about what you think of me
You control my education
You control my workload
You control my grades
You control what I learn about
You control my social life
You control the amount of friends I have (0)
You control my time online
You control my opportunities to meet people and have somebody to talk to for once
You control my diet
You control my food choices
You control my serving sizes
You're controlling my whole life mom!
Do you WANT me to become you?
I have nobody to talk to and that is sad because I have a sister one year younger than me who I don't even trust anymore
You give me no choices and make me feel like no can t stand up to you
Well let me tell you something
When I wear oversized shirts that my dad gave me and baggy pants it's because I'm hiding my body because I'm always aware of my body
I'm always worried about what other people are thinking about me
BECAUSE OF YOU!
Forcing me to wear skinny jeans and crop tops because "oh that's what everyone is wearing now" and " you have the body for it" or "I wish I had worn these types of clothes when I was young
and skinny like you"
Then you should've
I am not your doll
The only thing you are doing is making me want to wear hoodies and sweatpants and high heels and black dresses and makeup and eat chinese food and go to parties as soon as I leave this house
God, Icwouldnt last a day in real school but I still want to because I want friends and I want to get the hell out of this house before it kills me
I have to get out and start being my own person
Please let me