Sassy British Cow
Sassy British Cow cow stories

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Autoplay OFF   •   10 months ago
A cow asks me for directions.
This is something new and out of my comfort zone. I hope you guys like it! Let me know what you think!

Sassy British Cow

My feet pound on the soft dirt road, which stretches ahead of me as far as I can see. The sun hides below the horizon, but a few rays peek out. The crisp autumn air numbs my cheeks and nose.

My legs are about to give out on me, but I still have two miles to go.

Two miles. That's twenty minutes. You can do anything for twenty minutes.

My motivational speech gives me new energy and strength. I push harder, harder, harder...

"Excuse me, miss, might I ask you a question?" A posh British voice stops me in my tracks.

I turn to the field next to me. There's no one there, except for a baby cow with brown spots standing about fifteen feet away. I don't know how I didn't see it before.

The voice doesn't say anything. "Hello?" I call.

"Yes, hello there," the calf says.

I stare at it, taken aback. The calf continues talking as if nothing odd is happening. "I'm terribly sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if you could tell me where Longfield Farm is.

You see, I seem to have gotten myself lost-"

"I'm sorry," I interrupt. "But are you talking to me?"

The calf tilts his head, one soft brown ear dangling. "Yes, do you see anyone else here?"

I'm being sassed by a cow. "No."

"Are you British?" I ask.

"Why, yes. Most cows are British." He looks at me as if I had grown another head.

I didn't ask why, but he went on as if I had. "You see, we originated near England, and we never quite lost the accent.

Even if a cow was born here in America, the accents from the others rub off and they eventually start talking like a Brit. I've never seen England before, but I fully plan on going there someday."

I nod, too overwhelmed and confused by the sudden burst of information to say anything.

The cow continues. "What was I talking about? Ah, yes, I was up early, and I saw a butterfly flying around a pasture, and then I chased it through a gap in the fence, and now, well, I'm here."

I take a moment to collect myself. A cow is asking me for directions. "Well, um, do you remember which direction you came from?"

"I believe it might have been that way," the calf points his head to the left.

"But then again, I did chase the butterfly in several circles and made myself quite disoriented, so to be frank, I haven't the foggiest idea."

I google Longfield Farm, click on Google Maps, and give the cow directions.

"Thanks, mate. Cheerio!" He trots away.

This is quite different from my normal style. I was trying something new and out of my comfort zone and I hope you guys liked it! I really appreciate all the feedback and support I get from you guys :) Thanks a bunch!

Also, if you have a moment, please check out my stories on Wattpad. My username is @athleticbookworm04 I have a lot of stories on there that you guys might like. They're much longer and deeper than the ones on here. I wish you all a lovely day :) <3 Mari

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