'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were stashed in an old wooden dresser, along with my hopes that things would get better.
There were no children asleep in their beds, only lost hopes and wishing I were dead.
No woman beside me as I lay in this bed, the unmarried man who rested my head.
When outside my house I heard such a racket, I peered out the window and grabbed my old jacket.
The warmth of the wind that blew on my face, let the unmarried man slow down his pace.
Once in the tropics I had to adjust, there was no snow, not even no slush.
I gave a great sigh as I walked to the door, it was probably dogs that were such a bore.
Yet when I looked toward the warm winter sky, the sight that I saw could have made me die.
There it was as in all of the fables, a man and reindeer aloft without cables.
A sleigh of a sort that I'd never seen, was circling my house on this warm winter e'en.
A thump and thud later this man was afright, for the sleigh and the reindeer did seemingly alight.
I stepped back in quickly and bolted the door, I grabbed my rifle and laid on the floor.
It couldn't be burglars coming from the sky, but this man was scared and couldn't say why.
I heard the loud footsteps and the prancing of hooves, as I laid on the floor planning defensive moves.
Then, as I waited the wall started shaking, my heart started thumping my hands were a'quaking.
A fireplace appeared where a wall was used to be, this man was sore frightened and afraid he would pee.
A man soon appeared dressed in fur and in red, from out of the fireplace; he was surely well fed.
This man looked around yet spotted no tree, he turned to survey and then he spotted me.
His face was quite jolly all fat and a'smiling, his countenance beaming, and to a large sack did he cling.
He called my name smartly and commanded me to stand, as I rose shakily he held out his hand.
"Bob, I know it's hard to understand why I'm here, I didn't come for cookies, pretzels or beer.
I'm here to ask you a favor, if you will, to spread good cheer from the top of the Hills.
You see, I'm a'workin' or I'd do it myself, I need another good natured elf.
You belive in Santa as any good child should, even though you may act as if you come from the 'hood.
The children all need us, that's you and me, Bob, to bring Christmas spirit and now that's your job.
Now and forever you'll show off your joy every Christmas holiday as if you were a boy.
I need you to help me keep Christmas alive in the hearts of children from one to ninety-five.
I really wouldn't ask unless you could do it, but you have so much love it's really such a good fit.
Decorate your house and let everyone see the wonders of magic in every Christmas tree.
If you do this for me I'll promise you this, married or unmarried Christmas will be bliss."
I heeded the words of that jolly old man and decorate for Christmas as best as I can.
I'm still unmarried no children are around, but magic is my callin' straight down to the ground.
I tell you this tale not to brag or to boast, but to say I love Christmas I love it the most!
Merry Christmas to all!