More shit happened with fish.
I was going to kill myself. I needed to talk to someone. So my dumb, drunk, ass decided to text fish and tell him that I was struggling to stay alive.
Here's what he said...
"Stop it Blue. Stop saying this kind of stuff. It makes me so angry, killing yourself is not a joke. You told me that so stop. I️ know this is really rude but you have to stop it it’s not cool . "
He preceded to tell me that he didn't believe I would actually kill myself and that I was just messing with him. He said that there was no way I could be serious because I knew how it felt to lose people to suicide (one of my friends had killed herself the month before).
Don't any of you ever tell someone who told you that they are thinking about killing themselves that they are just making it up. Wjat kind of shitty person does that?
At least now I know that he didn't ever care. At least know I know that the only reason he was really friends with me was because he wanted to fuck me. At least now I know who not to trust. So if Fish ever reads this, I just need to say : fuck you. Go to hell.