I Couldn't, Not Anymore
I Couldn't, Not Anymore god stories
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blue1014
blue1014 "Tell us the secrets. Tell us the truth"
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
I don't hate God, I just don't believe in him either.

I Couldn't, Not Anymore

I didn’t stop believing in God because I’m lesbian,

I didn’t stop believing in God because I was lost,

I didn’t stop believing in God because my church wronged me,

I didn’t stop believing in God because I didn’t like getting up early on Sundays,

I didn’t stop believing in God because I wanted to make a grand gesture,

I didn’t stop believing in God because I was dealt a shitty hand,

I didn’t stop believing in God because I knew I was already damned,

I didn’t stop believing in God because he kept taking the people that meant something to me, from me,

Though all these reasons are part of it, these were not my only reasons,

No, I stopped believing in God because I was tired of believing in something that never gave me a reason to believe,

Maybe I wasn’t praying hard enough,

Maybe I wasn’t doing it right,

But I couldn’t sit at the end of my bed every night begging and bartering and pleading and wishing, for things I knew, I just knew, were never going to come true,

Because patience isn't one of my virtues,

But this,

This,

Made trust one of my vices.

As I said in the description. I don't hate God, I just don't believe in him either.

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